This post was updated on Nov 29, 2022
Perhaps you’ve been staring blankly in your own mirror for far too long, trying to hide your feelings, not wanting to think about marriage separation and the aftermath that would ensue. Perhaps you’ve been pushing down your thoughts of dealing with divorce for so long that they’ve finally come bubbling on the surface of many conversations.
And now you’re there, staring into the mirror, knowing what you have to do, but still dreading making your decision and still hurting yourself with the thoughts of whether it could have gone differently or not. If you’ve reached the end of your marriage rope, that’s probably it. However, if you need just one more introspective episode to be certain, keep reading.
What Is A Walkaway Wife/Husband?
A walkaway wife or a husband is an expression used to describe the act of a wife leaving their husband or a husband leaving their wife. This occurs when a husband or a wife who is unhappy with the state of their marriage petitions for divorce without previous discussion or attempts to work on their relationship with their partner. It’s sudden.
This leaves the entire divorce process fraught with numerous questions, usually concerning the “why” of the situation, since the spouse unaware of the hat divorce prior to the petition usually has no explanation as to why such an event happened. Keep in mind that often invitations are given to work on the relationship however one side doesn’t engage and doesn’t read the “memo” that the waters are not smooth and the “ship” aka marriage, is about to go under.
On the one side, the side of the walkaway wife or husband, there’s potentially long-brewing unhappiness, discontent, annoyance, and numerous other feelings that led to such a decision. On the side of the spouse experiencing the “walkaway” act from another perspective, there’s surprise, pain, and potentially anger.
And if you’re on the receiving end of a walkaway, there’s no blame to be had here. We’re all busy with our own lives at one point or another, leaving us blind to the others surrounding us. This is in no way justifiable, but it’s understandable that you’ve failed to give your spouse the attention they so desperately desired and failed to spot the early signs of the problem, such as:
- Lack of complaining about the things they used to be so passionate about.
- Silence throughout the day and lack of proper communication.
- Poor treatment of both spouses within the marriage.
- Children becoming the “primary” relationship to one side of the coupleship.
- Lack of excitement about sexual intercourse and intimacy.
- Complete absence of intimacy.
- Absence of expression of feelings.
- Distant relationship with your spouse.
- Disinterest in the things you and your spouse used to do on a daily basis.
At What Point Do You Walk Away From A Marriage?
There really isn’t one occasion where you say OK, it’s over now, pick up your things, pack your bags and walk away. Love and marriage don’t work that way except in cases of physical or emotional violence, when it’s vital to find protection and assistance as soon as possible.
In most marriages, discontent creeps into your daily life without you or your spouse even noticing, causing small dings in your relationship to become cracks and allowing those cracks to develop into ravines that prevent you from finding common ground. And then, one day, you fall into the never ending hole of spiraling unhappiness, not being able to remember the last time you smiled.
This can be the point of you having enough of it and deciding it’s time to end it. Also, there are more signs that can point to the fact that it’s time to keep walking in the opposite direction of your marriage:
- No respect toward you and your needs.
- No trust with your partner.
- Lack of value for the things you do for them.
- Your marriage has started exhibiting toxic traits.
- Selfish behavior without any heed for you.
- You’re the only one making compromises and sacrifices.
- Lack of sense of responsibility from your partner.
- Lack of quality together time.
What Are Good Reasons To Leave A Relationship?
The reasons for leaving your marriage or your relationship are many and every single one of them is more substantial or less important depending on the individuals involved. What we’re trying to say is that there’s no universal “leave now” reason applicable to all relationships in the world.
For some, lack of attention and communication might be plenty, while others decide to remain in relationships that for others would be immediate dealbreakers. That’s why it’s impossible to provide one or more reasons to leave your marriage. If you’re feeling bad and unloved and have been feeling that way for quite some time, the answer is obvious and there’s little for you to foster there.
Your own feelings are your only compass in relationships and marriages and if they fall on deaf ears from your partner, we’re sorry to say it’s probably time to consider another course of action. Listen to yourself, listen to your needs, listen to your feelings, listen to what your heart tells you and listen to your intuition. All these combined are not likely to be wrong, no matter how much you might want them to be.
One note is that this in no way, shape, or form refers to any type of physical or any form of psychological abuse. Shaming, yelling, and violence are an instant sign that it’s time for you to go, and don’t allow anyone to tell you otherwise.
PIVOT Can Help You Deal With Divorce And Marriage Separation
Barring extreme cases, walking out on your marriage is tough, even if you’ve wanted to do so for a long time. First, there’s divorce anxiety you have to cope with, which isn’t easy, and there’s also the difficulty with attempting to remarry after your divorce down the line, especially if your dissolution has managed to alter your attachment style significantly.
And this is all if you’re experiencing a remotely healthy divorce without delving deeper into the potential problems that happen when ending physically or emotionally abusive relationships. This is why it’s a good idea to find assistance when going through a divorce of any kind and allow yourself to have a helping hand through it all.
At PIVOT, we specialize in helping people live again after their divorce. Our advocates are experts when it comes to personalized sessions designed to provide assistance when going through a divorce and our Glass House retreat center can assist you in finding yourself again. Don’t hesitate to contact us and let us be there to start a new chapter in your life.