Moving In Together: Is It Time?

Do you dream of spending your days and nights by your partner’s side, cuddling, watching the TV, or preparing delicious meals together? Or do you fear that you’ll sacrifice your precious alone time by moving in with your partner? 

Moving in together has its pros and cons, and each couple may have their own unique expectations regarding the right time to take the step toward cohabitation. Some may choose to move in after a couple of weeks or months, while others may wait until marriage. However, both of these options can lead to problems along the way, and you might seek out private couple retreats for reconnection with your partner far sooner than you thought.

Each relationship has its own pace, and it’s up to you and your partner to decide when to start living together. Keep on reading to find out what to consider before making a choice and what to expect from cohabitation.  

When Is It A Good Idea For Couples To Move In Together?

Depending on their values and religious beliefs, people can have radically different opinions on the right timeline for moving in together. However, religious beliefs aside, there is no one-size-fits-all answer to this question. Nevertheless, there are some things you may want to consider before making the decision, including: 

Are You And Your Partner On The Same Page? 

If you and your partner feel the same regarding the seriousness of your relationship and your future together, moving in together may be a good next step. Naturally, you may want to take into account the time you’ve known each other, considering the heightened emotions common at the start of a relationship. If you are unsure, have an open and honest conversation with your partner to determine what might be best for the two of you. At PIVOT, we call this looking at your relationship through the lens of the Whole Perspective – spiritually, physically, emotionally, intellectually, and financially.  You don’t have to be on the same page in these categories however you DO want to understand how your partner lives from this lens.

Are You Moving Out Of Convenience? 

Living together can be a sound financial decision, especially for young people who struggle to pay rent. However, taking this step early on, while disregarding the nature of the relationship, can lead to trouble down the road. Some people are simply happier while living apart. On top of that, some couples may keep on living together out of financial reasons and end up feeling stuck in an unhappy relationship. 

What Are Your Thoughts On Marriage? 

There’s plenty of variability in the way people think about marriage nowadays. Some people may choose to wait until marriage to start living together, while others may not want to get married at all. Where you and your partner are on this spectrum is an important factor in determining the right time to move in. Unless you two are on the same page regarding your future together, cohabitation may not be the best choice. 

Is It Normal To Have Doubts Before Moving In Together?

Of course it is. For some people, exchanging their solitary lifestyle for cohabitation is a huge step. In addition to wanting to preserve your freedom, you may also have doubts about the relationship itself, and that’s okay. If that is the case, you may want to voice your concerns to your partner and have a straightforward conversation with them. Once you start living together, it may get more difficult to leave the relationship if you realize you two are not a good match. 

What Do Couples Talk About Before Moving In Together?

There are several important topics to consider if you’ve decided to move in together. These may include: 

  • Finances: While it may not seem romantic, money is quite important in relationships. How you and your partner decide to spend and save your money, whether you split expenses or have a joint account, will have a direct impact on the success of your relationship. 
  • Time: If you or your partner are used to seeing each other only a couple of times a week, you may find yourself feeling stifled when being constantly together. This doesn’t have to mean that your relationship is doomed or that one of you will cheat. To prevent feelings of frustration and guilt, be honest with your partner about your needs and wants. 
  • Habits: In addition to the way you like to spend your time, you and your partner may differ in other respects. For instance, you may want your new place to be spotless and furnished with the trendiest pieces of furniture. Your partner, on the other hand, might be perfectly fine with a modest, messy home. 

Honest conversation is key to making your relationship work. This is especially important when deciding to start your life together. While you and your partner may be hesitant to speak about the less rosy aspects of the relationship, you won’t agree on everything, however hard you may try. Instead of waiting for issues to blow up later on, it may be best to discuss any potential challenges early on, before you commit to living together

Do Relationships Change When You Move In Together?

Living together with your partner is a big change. No matter how long you two have known each other and how well suited you think you are, some time may need to pass before you adjust completely. 

Be prepared to see your partner in a new light, with all their good and bad habits. Expect them to see you differently, too. On top of that, you may have far less time for solitary activities you love. All of these things can change your relationship for better or worse. Either way, it’s highly likely that you’ll encounter some challenges when you first move in together. Luckily, you can overcome most of these with some patience and honest communication. 

Visit Our Relationship Coaching Retreat For Individuals & Embrace Change 

PIVOT is here to help you make sound decisions for your future and deal with relationship challenges as they come. By learning relationship building skills in our individual coaching sessions or choosing one of our tailored couple workshops, you’ll be better equipped to take steps toward a happier, more fulfilled life. Get in touch with us today!

© 2021 Lori Jean Glass, LLC | PIVOT