Betrayal In Relationships: Why It Happens & Why It’s So Painful

Suffering betrayal in your relationship is one of the most difficult things an individual can endure. You rightfully expect your relationship to be full of love, support, and acceptance, which is why it is extremely hard to go through a situation where you feel betrayed in any way. That is why betrayals in relationships are difficult to overcome.

It doesn’t matter if the betrayal happened because of recent boredom in a relationship, or because you and your partner have started to become dishonest with each other. Betraying your loved one in any way can be explainable, but not excusable, and you and your partner need to face that event and resolve it if you plan on moving forward.

Some couples may need help from professional relationship experts in these cases. These trained and qualified professionals organize private couples retreat relationship workshops that address different relationship hardships. 

What Is Considered Betrayal In A Relationship?

The most common, and certainly one of the most hurtful forms of betrayal in a relationship is cheating on someone or having someone cheat on you. Yet, what if you haven’t experienced such a problem and still feel betrayed? 

Affairs are only one type of betrayal. Betrayals in relationships can take on many different forms, and each hurts in its own way. The following are only some of the most frequent forms of betrayals in relationships:

  • Your partner constantly putting their needs and wants above yours.
  • Experiencing emotional cheating on behalf of your partner. 
  • Your partner not standing up for you in front of others. 
  • Your partner being dishonest about different matters. 
  • Having your insecurities and vulnerabilities used against you. 
  • Noticing your partner emotionally distancing themselves from you.
  • Being under constant pressure to change.
  • Learning of your partner complaining about your relationship to someone else.
  • Your partner prioritizing hobbies, work, or other passions above the relationship. 
  • Having your private information divulged to others without your consent. 
  • Your partner disrespecting you or criticizing you in front of others. 

Can You Love Someone And Betray Them?

Can You Love Someone And Betray Them

No matter the type of betrayal you or your partner have experienced, it is a matter that can be very difficult to resolve and overcome. It can be emotionally draining and devastating. 

However, everyone makes mistakes. Making mistakes doesn’t mean we do not love our partners, we do not appreciate them, or that we do not want to be with them. 

At PIVOT, we look at love as a verb. Are you being loving toward your partner?  Some days for personal reasons, we may not feel capable of giving and receiving love.  Life challenges arise and can sometimes bring a tremendous amount of fear, anxiety, and depression.  Not feeling loving does not excuse betraying your partner.  Communication is key. Share how you feel with each other so expectations are realistic.  

Mistakes happen. How we deal with those mistakes is what we can use to show our partners just how much we care about them. So yes, you can love your partner and betray them. Or be loved and feel betrayed. If it happens, it’s important to show them how much you care and do what’s in your power to make things right. 

What Does Betrayal Do To A Person?

Betrayals can have a great emotional impact on a person. They take many forms and happen for a variety of reasons, but they share a defining characteristic – they can leave serious emotional scars to those who have been betrayed. 

The initial reaction to betrayal varies from one person to another. Some individuals will, at first, feel surprised and confused, while others will feel immediate anger or sadness. All of us are different, and we react to unpleasant and hurtful situations in different ways. 

However, most people will, at some point, experience lack of trust toward the person who betrayed them. While this is a problem that can be overcome, it can truly damage a relationship if partners don’t find a way to resolve this issue. 

That is one of the biggest reasons why relationship betrayals are so difficult to overcome. Initial emotional reactions subside, while lack of trust lingers. And trust can be extremely difficult to rebuild. 

Why Is Betrayal So Painful?

Betrayals in relationships can cause you to overthink your entire relationship. They allow doubt and insecurity to creep into your relationship with your partner, which is a personal bond thought to be strong enough to withstand any challenge.

Depending on the individual, betrayals are painful for a variety of reasons. However, relationship betrayal usually hurts because we often feel that our partner, who is supposed to be closest to us, acted against us and exposed us to pain through their actions. 

And that is precisely why betrayal hurts so much. Where once there was certainty, there is now uncertainty. Where there was understanding, there is misunderstanding. And, where there was belief, there is now doubt. And that hurts. 

How Do You Deal With Betrayal In A Relationship?

Being betrayed is hard enough, but dealing with and overcoming relationship betrayal can be a lot more difficult to do. There is no set list of rules that will help you overcome betrayal in your relationship faster or better, but here are some tips that might help you deal with betrayal a bit more easily:

  • Name and embrace the emotions you’re feeling, as understanding how you feel is the first step toward recovery.
  • Don’t feel the need to explain your feelings to anyone or to rationalize them.
  • Resist from the potential desire to retaliate to a betrayal. 
  • Take as much time as you need to come to terms with your relationship betrayal.
  • Assess the betrayal and attempt to uncover the possible reasons behind it. 
  • Try to calmly discuss the betrayal with your partner and listen to their side.
  • Take your thoughts and feelings to a retained professional coach to help you. 
  • Know that you don’t have to stay.  If the betrayal is too damaging to you, you can work toward processing what to do and if the decision to leave is where you end up, that is a valid decision.  Often when children, money, and other factors are involved, it is important to give yourself time to understand what happened and why it happened so you can move on without carrying additional baggage. 

Leave Betrayal Behind At A PIVOT Couple Relationship Management Workshop 

What Does Betrayal Do To A Person

Have you experienced a betrayal and want to find a way to deal with it? It’s important to first uncover the reasons behind that betrayal. Understanding why your partner betrayed your relationship is the first step in coming to terms with it and eventually managing to overcome the entire difficult situation.

Sometimes, relationship betrayals may happen because your relationship might have been toxic. You and your partner may have become increasingly emotionally distant. Knowing the causes of any kind of betrayal is essential for moving forward and finding a way to rebuild trust. That is why it is a good idea to seek help from expert relationship advocates at PIVOT. Our relationship advocates are knowledgeable and experienced professionals who organize both individual couples emotional coaching sessions, as well as group emotional workshops for couples. We are here to assist you in any way we can. Reach out to us today!