If you’ve been in love before, you probably know the feeling of being on a “high.” However, if your partner left you, then you may experience extreme “lows,” which are physically painful. This is withdrawal from love.
The reason for this is that when you fall in love your body experiences a chemical reaction, like any mind-altering experience. And when you’re in love you experience a “high” as if you were drugged.
This is why it is such a powerful experience. On the flipside it can lead to attaching anxiously in cases when there is a need to heal unmet longing.
If you experience depression, anxiety or even flu-like symptoms, then it is possible you are experiencing the withdrawal from an addictive relationship.
Just like withdrawing from an addiction to alcohol, drugs or other substances, withdrawing from an addictive relationship is toxic and painful.
Withdrawal from love and addictive relationships is one of the most painful withdrawal experiences.
Because a unique connection is made between the person affected and their unmet need for love as a child.
In fact, during withdrawal from love, people psychologically go back and feel the losses they felt as a child. Unfortunately, the more neglected they were as a child, the more they suffer.
What leads to seeking unbalanced, unfulfilled and addictive relationships is having unresolved unhealthy childhood relationships.
This becomes a survival pattern because you want to heal childhood abandonment wounds.
What makes the pain worse is that addictive relationships are colored with conflicts, emotional abuse and even physical violence.
If you are experiencing withdrawal from an addictive relationship, then you can take these steps to move through it and heal:
Step 1) Firstly, start with recognizing the pain. Be present and accept what you are feeling, thinking, and what you want.
This is the hardest step for most people. It is especially difficult to be present when you are in deep pain.
Step 2) Stop judging your feelings, thoughts and wants. Be aware of them and accept them.
Step 3) Remember, you are worthy of love. And the most powerful love comes from within you. Don’t depend on a partner for love. Instead, increase your love for yourself. Love your uniqueness, your views, your personality and your gifts.
Step 4) Identify ways you would like to express the best in yourself and take actions that reflect your best self. Remember, you deserve to be treated with respect.
Step 5) Be willing to change. Real recovery starts with healing and repairing yourself. This means dealing with feelings, grieving and healing from past wounds. Healing allows you to reconnect to yourself with self-compassion and self-love. This is best done with the help of a professional therapist who specializes in addictive relationships.
Step 6) Make changes… work on self-love and healing yourself. This process is about your recovery.
Step 7) Once you have started to heal yourself, then you can make choices. You can choose to let go of seeking addictive relationships. You can decide that being whole, unique, and your true self is worth it.
In conclusion, if you think you are in withdrawal from an addictive relationship, you must give yourself time to heal.
We recommend that you seek support from professionals and talk about the pain inside you.
This is also the time to build up your confidence and self-esteem. Take time to read inspirational books, try new activities, or change your routine.
The important thing is not to blame yourself for the relationship ending, as this prolongs the withdrawal period.
Remember, you are worthy of happiness and love, and a healthy relationship. Stay optimistic and know that with the right support you too can have secure attachment and a healthy love relationship.
If you are ready to create meaningful connections and overcome this painful experience, then contact PIVOT. We’re here to help.