This post was updated on Apr 16, 2020
Have you been told that you have problems trusting others in relationships? Do you know if you’re difficult to please? Do you set unrealistic expectations in your relationships? Or do you avoid intimacy because you’re scared of being hurt?
If you can relate to some of these questions, then you may have challenges trusting yourself and others. Luckily, you can find the help you need to build trust in a relationship in a PIVOT workshop. With assistance from our PIVOT coaches, you’ll learn how to create healthier relationships based on trust and deep intimacy.
Keep reading to find out more about trust issues and learn how to overcome them.
What Causes Trust Issues?
Although you may desperately want love and to be loved, trust issues will make you unwilling to emotionally attach to someone because you don’t want to get hurt.
In many cases, trust issues come from past hurts that occurred in previous romantic relationships or from unhealthy family relationships during childhood. Or both. This will, of course, depend on your specific circumstances.
If you want to discover the cause of your trust issues, you should take a look at your relationship history, both with your parents and previous partners. For example, you may have developed trust issues if:
- Your parents got divorced
- One or both of your parents were alcoholic
- You were adopted
- You lost a sibling or parent
- You had a history of abuse in your childhood
- Your parents were emotionally unavailable
- You felt neglected during your childhood
- Your previous partners cheated on you
- You cheated on previous partners
- You have a history of low self-esteem
- You are afraid of being abandoned
Many people with trust issues know they have trouble in their relationships, but don’t realize it comes from a trust problem. That is why it’s important to seek a fresh perspective from a relationship coach who can help you understand where your challenges come from and help you overcome trust issues in your relationship.
How Do I Know If I Have Trust Issues?
If you’ve been experiencing problems related to trust in your relationships, you may be confused about what a normal amount of distrust is and what constitutes severe trust issues. While many people believe that some jealousy is a normal part of relationships, you should be able to tell when too much is too much.
Healthy relationships are based on trust and intimacy. If you feel like you can’t trust your partner fully, you may still be healing from past wounds which influence your present relationships. If that’s the case, you will need to learn how to rebuild trust in order to create and maintain stable and happy relationships.
What Are The Signs Of Trust Issues?
Trust challenges can manifest themselves in a myriad of ways. Still, many people who struggle with trusting their partners have certain behavioral patterns that may indicate trust issues. Look out for the following behaviors:
1) You Are Afraid Of Commitment
Perhaps, you have challenges being vulnerable and sharing because you don’t want to get hurt again. This means your relationship is based on trust issues rather than on true feelings or real emotions.
If you have trust issues, then you are more likely to be afraid to commit emotionally, for fear of getting hurt if the relationship ends.
2) Fast, Intense Relationships That Suddenly End
You may become involved in romantic relationships quickly, but they are intense and short-lived.
You may be excited or even addicted to the newness of the relationship, but once things get familiar, your romance ends.
3) You Assume The Worst
No matter what happens, you assume the worst about your partner. If they haven’t answered their phone it’s because they’re cheating. If they’re not with you, then they must be betraying you.
Your first thought is to think you are being cheated on. You don’t consider that your partner may just be busy or catching up with family.
4) Unrealistic Expectations In Relationships
If you have trust issues, then you may be expecting perfection in your partner. You hold your partner to an impossibly high standard and won’t tolerate any imperfections.
Unfortunately, expecting perfection in someone else typically leads to sabotaging true romance from growing.
5) You Need To Be In Control
You may be challenged to allow others to be in the lead.
The reason is that you don’t want to be disappointed, so you want to stay in control… always.
How Can I Overcome Trust Challenges In A Relationship?
If you recognize any of the signs above, then know that you’re not alone. Lots of people struggle with fears of being hurt.
The good news is that you can change and break the cycle of your trust issues, so you can be safe in a relationship and not feel engulfed. Here are some tips:
- Figure out where your trust issues come from and try to accept your past hurts.
- Be honest about your partner about what you are looking for in a relationship.
- Listen carefully to your partner’s wishes and needs.
- Work together with your partner to overcome your trust challenges.
- Keep your expectations in check and think before you act.
Attend The #1 Building Trust In A Relationship Intensive Workshop
The first step to overcoming trust issues is recognizing the importance of trust in a relationship and the source of your pain.
As certified relationship advocates at PIVOT, we encourage our clients to not be hard on themselves. You are not “broken” or flawed. Instead, make the decision to improve your life by learning and evolving. To do this, you need to be open to change.
One of the best ways to empower positive change is to get support and expertise from trained individuals that specialize in relationships and attachment challenges. At PIVOT, we offer effective relationship building retreats and intensive workshops for both couples and individuals.
Remember, you are worthy of happiness and love, and you do matter.
If you are ready to create meaningful connections and overcome challenges trusting yourself and others, then contact PIVOT. We’re here to help.