How To Restore Excitement In Your Long-Term Relationship

Even in the happiest of marriages, there seems to be a risk of the relationship feeling like a chore at times. It’s common to start losing focus while you’re devoted to other responsibilities. That is not to say that you feel resentment or bitterness toward each other, you have just stopped putting any conscious effort to keep the relationship vibrant. 

You may wonder, as many couples do, how you can get back to that point when you were much more invested in each other. Fortunately, there are ways to work against your relationship avoidance and rejuvenate your marriage with some fresh ideas. 

If you’re determined to work on yourself and your relationship, you may need to find ways to think outside the box. This might involve doing things like taking responsibility and allowing yourself to be playful. 

How Do You Get The Excitement Back Into A Relationship

How Do You Get The Excitement Back Into A Relationship?

At the very beginning of your relationship, everything was probably fun and exciting. You were like a newly found, uncharted territory to one another. There were so many secrets to uncover, so many questions to ask, and so many intriguing things to share and learn from each other. 

Inevitably, this was just your initial phase. Your job, parental duties, and other responsibilities have drawn you away from each other, and you might have lost touch with that initial excitement. However, you can work on this with your partner.

While every relationship is different and what might work for you might not be the best course of action for someone else, you may consider the following: 

  • Recall when was the last time you experienced something exciting together.
  • Check whether there are some things that you postponed in the past that you might like to revisit.
  • Appreciate the little things and gestures of your spouse.
  • Question some of your rituals and introduce some variations.
  • Try reintroducing fun in your everyday conversations.
  • Remember to restore your physical connection and fondness.
  • Find ways to handle and appreciate your differences in a constructive manner (even light bickering might be a positive way of handling this).

Why Are Surprises Important In Relationships?

One of the most common ways to revive the excitement and affection is by surprising your significant other. It doesn’t only serve to make the other person feel happy. It also shows your forethought and appreciation. However small it might seem, a well-timed surprise can turn their mindset around and get them to be more present in the here and now. 

Surprising your partner has the following benefits: 

  • It shows that you’re thoughtful and that you’re not taking them for granted.
  • You’re willing to go out of your way to plan and determine what will make them happy.
  • It stimulates the curiosity and refreshes your relationship, making you both more prone to try out new things.
  • It shows that you’re willing to take risks and step out of your everyday routine, which is of great value for your emotional life. 
  • It can greatly boost passion and bring you closer together.
Why Are Surprises Important In Relationships

How Do I Keep The Excitement In My Marriage?

To think of things to spice up your relationship, talk to your partner and consider what you’d both like. Here are some examples.

  1. Arrange A Romantic Dinner

Romantic dinners might seem like a cliche. However, you can make yours special by arranging it at a brand new place. Even better, you can do it at home, and include some special details that have a deeper meaning for your spouse. 

  1. Throw A Surprise Gathering

Making a nice get-together for family and friends when your spouse least expects it can be great, just be careful: if they need some time alone, then it’s probably better to focus on options that include just the two of you. Stay inquisitive about each other’s needs and you’ll be less likely to end up in a misunderstanding.  

  1. Arrange Something Special On Your Average Day

You don’t have to wait for your spouse’s birthday or your wedding anniversary to celebrate them. Try doing something that is outside your average routine on a random day. Unexpected treats can mean a lot and be used to rekindle the passion.

  1. Send Each Other Gifts

You don’t have to make a big announcement or to have an excuse for treating your spouse. Sending a bouquet of flowers, a small gift basket, or any thoughtful gift may be just what you need to keep the excitement alive.

  1. Take Up A Hobby Together

Go for something that you never thought you’d try before. However silly or awkward it might seem, being on the same level as them will allow you to find a source of support and comfort in your partner. To a certain degree, you might be able to better accept your insecurities and embrace the excitement of learning something new together. 

  1. Go On An Adventure

It doesn’t have to be anything too extravagant or financially compromising. Without a doubt, visiting exotic destinations can be fulfilling, although you can still have a great time visiting a local nature resort, traveling to a nearby town, or renting an old cabin in the woods. 

  1. Make A Gallery Of Your Memories

You’re probably worried that, after working hard to overcome a period of emotional disconnection, the fruits of your labor will slowly fade away. To make a reminder, document your memorable moments in every possible way: pick the best photos, videos, write a diary, and keep small souvenirs that will remind you of the happy times you had together. 

How Do I Keep The Excitement In My Marriage

How Do You Control The Excitement In A Relationship?

Your everyday routine probably doesn’t allow you to devote 100% of your time to each other. You might soon realize that you can’t be in a constant state of excitement. In fact, romantic love usually has to encompass both the excitement of early infatuation and the calmness of mature affection. One plausible way to control the excitement in your relationship is to plan, schedule, and make small experiments, while sticking to some firm aspects of your routine. Otherwise, your expectations might become unrealistic, and you’d feel as if you’re making 

You may wonder if you’d have to sacrifice your boundaries and personal space to keep things exciting and new. Some people are hesitant to go that extra mile, as they fear they will get completely lost and get enmeshed with their loved one. This is why many turn to professional help, as they aim to find ways to spend quality time with their partners, without losing personal space.

Where Can I Attend A Purposeful And Experience-Based Intimacy In Marriage Intensive? 

Whether your goal is to learn more and work on your attachment patterns, or to set healthy boundaries and change your perspective on intimacy, PIVOT can help you in many ways. Our relationship advocates have the knowledge and resources to facilitate the process of deepening your intimacy in a couple-based retreat. What’s more, you can choose to work on your emotional life in individual coaching and change your outlook on your marriage or long-term relationship. Contact us today and embark on a road to excitement and self-discovery. 

© 2022 Lori Jean Glass, LLC | PIVOT