This post was updated on Nov 29, 2022
Do you feel like no matter what you do or which turn your life takes, you can’t seem to be content with the way things are? Or are you in a relationship that ‘should’ make you happy, but you still feel unsatisfied?
There is a whole range of reasons why you may feel unhappy in your relationship and life in general. If you are looking for a way to improve your relationship and your overall well being, and find happiness in the little things, private couple retreats for reconnection may help. In the meantime, keep on reading to find out why you may be unhappy and what you can do to change that.
Why Am I Not Satisfied In A Relationship?
Continuously wanting more out of life is a common human condition. Often, we learn at an early age to compare ourselves to other people. Later in life we feel like our current dissatisfaction of not enough can only be cured by getting more recognition and power, a better job, or a better partner. We seem to be reaching for something that remains out of grasp or cling to something long gone.
If you’re not sure if you recognize yourself in this, think about the thoughts that intrude your mind on a daily basis. Do you constantly think about how things should be or should have been, are you continuously doubting and evaluating your choices? Are you longing for something that keeps slipping away?
This can be seen as having a ‘wanting mind’ that causes us to not feel satisfied, regardless of what we actually do have in life. If you’re unsure if having a wanting mind is what’s making you unhappy, remember the last time you craved for something and managed to obtain it. How long did the satisfaction caused by attaining the object of your longing last? How long after did you start longing for something else? The root of the problem here is that we keep replacing old desires with new ones, due to a belief that we’ll find the key to happiness in something outside of ourselves, instead of looking within.
What Causes A Person Not To Be Satisfied?
Our tendency to want more can be explained in several ways. Here are some root causes of having a ‘wanting mind’:
- Our expectations:
As you achieve more success, whether financial or social, your expectations are likely to increase in tandem. This leads to a feeling of dissatisfaction. However, this doesn’t mean that lowering your expectations is the way to go. If you do this, you’ll only be selling yourself short.
- Comparing ourselves to others:
Many people can’t escape the temptation to compare themselves to the success of others. The grass is greener mentality can cause us to keep competing and searching for something outside ourselves in order to find happiness.
- Hedonic adaptation:
The concept of hedonic adaptation has a lot to do with how our expectations change along with our circumstances. Humans are prone to quickly adapting to the negative and positive events in life and returning to their happiness base level. Once we become accustomed to one thing, it can be quite difficult to go back.
What Do You Do When You’re Not Satisfied In A Relationship?
While you may be struggling with a constant feeling of dissatisfaction caused by a ‘wanting mind’, it may also be the case that your relationship isn’t actually meeting your needs. After all, if you don’t feel good in a relationship, whether because your partner doesn’t value your integrity, you have no common interests, or you’d simply prefer to be alone, then it may not be the right one for you. A good way to deal with dissatisfaction in a relationship is to be honest with your partner and yourself, communicate openly, and discuss any issues you may be dealing with.
How Do I Increase Satisfaction In A Relationship?
Whether you’re dealing with an overall sense of dissatisfaction or feel unhappy in your relationship, there’s no reason to beat yourself up over it. There are ways to increase your satisfaction and nurture relationships that meet your needs. Here are some tips:
- Set realistic expectations: setting your expectations too high or too low can exacerbate your sense of dissatisfaction. Instead, try to set goals for yourself that are firmly based in reality and aren’t out of your reach.
- Increase self-awareness: by getting to know yourself better with all your virtues and flaws, you can learn to be more humble and realistic. Looking inward can also help you avoid basing your sense of worth on external sources.
- Express gratitude: in order to break the shackles of a wanting mind, you can try teaching yourself to be thankful for what you have. Being grateful for even the smallest things in your life can help increase your overall happiness.
- Celebrate your successes: why not congratulate yourself for your accomplishments, both large and small? This may be as little as getting out of bed in the morning or starting to work out regularly. Celebrating your wins can help boost your confidence and life satisfaction.
- Be open and honest: communicating your needs and wants with your partner in a positive manner can enhance your intimacy and trust. It is also important to try and be honest with yourself and identify realistic paths for growth.
Visit Our Relationship Coaching Retreat For Individuals And Increase Your Life Satisfaction
Sometimes, trying to understand yourself and your life situation can become overwhelming. Instead of withdrawing and giving up, you can pick yourself up and work on your emotional wellbeing with a little push. At PIVOT, we work hard to help individuals and couples deal with their relationship problems and the general demands of everyday life.
Whether you are an individual looking for a compassionate relationship coach or want to attend an intensive workshop with your partner, the dedicated staff at PIVOT is at your beck and call. Reach out to us now and take the first step towards lasting happiness.