This post was updated on Apr 15, 2023
Unhappiness in a relationship takes on many forms and originates for a variety of reasons. Sometimes, couples are unhappy because they feel bored in a relationship, or because both partners have lost the physical spark they used to have. At other times, there may be extreme jealousy present in the relationship, or perhaps a severe case of emotional manipulation. And, what is not spoken about often is that the unhappiness is generated from their own family of origin complications that have not been individually worked out.
Some problems that make a relationship unhappy are normal and easy to resolve, while others require a lot of time, effort, and maybe help from professional relationship intimacy coaching experts. However, you first get more familiar with the characteristics of an unhappy relationship, and when it is time to leave for good.
What Does a Healthy Relationship Feel Like?
There is much talk about unhealthy, toxic, and unsafe relationships, and it is sometimes difficult for people to let go of a few relationship negatives and become aware that they are actually in a healthy and happy relationship.
That is why it is also important to recognize which emotions are good in a relationship, and what are the positive aspects of being in a relationship that you can expect to experience on a daily basis. Here are some of the important characteristics of a happy relationship:
- There is mutual respect for space and privacy.
- You and your partner understand each other’s needs.
- You and your partner are able to spend quality time with friends and family.
- You are comfortable enough to share and express feelings and opinions.
- You feel physically and emotionally safe and comfortable with your partner.
- You enjoy the time you spend together and are able to spend quality time apart.
- You are able to resolve conflicts without hurting each other’s feelings.
- You feel comfortable being honest with your partner.
- There is forgiveness if a partner makes and admits a mistake.
- You and your partner have mutual tolerance for certain issues and problems.
What Are The Foundations Of A Healthy Relationship?
Every happy and healthy relationship resides on strong foundations. There are certain aspects of a relationship that allow you to build upon and continue to thrive both as an individual who is in a relationship and as a couple looking forward to a life spent together.
Mutual respect for each other’s boundaries and habits is favorable.
This is an important cornerstone of every healthy relationship.
It is essential to build trust with your partner in a happy relationship.
There needs to be consent for the things you and your partner do together.
How Do You Know If You’re Unhappy In Your Relationship?
It is not easy to become aware of the fact that you might be unhappy in your relationship. Healthy families can be happy and also have ways to navigate the challenges that arise. When your family has many conflicts that are not resolved, the difficulties suffocate the chance to be happy.
The same goes for relationships. There are many reasons why you might be unhappy in a relationship, and it is difficult to correctly assess them. However, there are some signs that indicate you’re not happy with your relationship. Let’s see what they are:
- Your family, friends, and other interests keep taking priority over your partner.
- There are few or no dedicated date nights for getting emotionally and physically intimate.
- You or your partner are experiencing constant criticism.
- There is little or no gratitude in your relationship.
- Your sex life is not what it used to be.
- You’re finding it hard to say nice things about your relationship.
- You feel more and more alone each day.
- There is hidden or open contempt between your partner and you.
- You’re experiencing problems with stonewalling.
- You’re starting to live a parallel life separate from your partner.
- Both you and your partner tend to hold grudges.
- There is a constant blame game going on between you and your partner.
- You or your partner seem to be picking fights on purpose.
Why Do I Stay In A Relationship That Makes Me Unhappy?
Perhaps you’re not leaving your relationship because you’re not aware of just how unhappy in your relationship you are. You may also have an old wound of abandonment or neglect that you are protecting from surfacing if you would choose to leave. However, sometimes individuals realize they are not part of a happy and healthy relationship, and they still refuse to leave. Here are some of the reasons why you might still be part of a relationship you know is not healthy:
- You feel like you’ve invested too much in the relationship and you’re not willing to see all your time and effort go to waste.
- Your feeling of self-worth is very low, which negatively affects your relationship standards, keeping in a bad relationship.
- You’re frightened of the alternative and of the unknown of being outside of a poor relationship you’re familiar with.
- Your partner is implementing methods of emotional and mental manipulation that make it difficult for you to leave without feeling guilty.
- You’re using once-present love and affection as an excuse to remain in the relationship and await for their potential return.
When It Might Be Time to Give Up On A Relationship
Sometimes, all the effort and the love you put into a relationship is not enough to see it succeed and thrive. As difficult as it is, the best solution to the way you’re feeling could be to finish your relationship.
However, making that decision is not easy, and you might not know what the tipping point for ending a relationship is. There are also factors that are important to consider which is why getting help to discern whether or not to leave is key. Sometimes the relationship needs to have a hard reset. This is possible and relationships can get a boost that results in a new beginning.
Take a look at some of the signs it is time to exit a relationship:
- You spend more time living in your past memories than enjoying the present.
- Your relationship is starting to bring more pain into your life than it does joy.
- Your partner is expecting you to change every little thing about yourself.
- You constantly have to justify your partner’s actions to yourself and others.
- You’re experiencing emotional, verbal, or physical pain from your partner.
- Your partner is putting little or no effort into your relationship.
- You do not share fundamental beliefs and values.
- You feel that your relationship is starting to hold you back.
- You’re constantly hoping for things to get better, yet they don’t.
- You simply do not feel the same way about your partner as you used to.
PIVOT Relationship Intimacy Coaching Will Help You With Relationship Unhappiness
There are many reasons for relationship unhappiness. Some of them might be easy to detect, understand, and resolve, while others turn out to be a lot more difficult to identify and eliminate from your relationship. Feeling happy in a relationship is one of the things that makes it beautiful, and once that seems to disappear, it is easy to start thinking about ending the relationship.
However, sometimes it is entirely possible to resolve problems causing an unhappy relationship, although it might take professional help to do so. Instead of giving up, why not reach out to experienced relationship intimacy coaching experts at PIVOT?
PIVOT is a retreat for struggling couples that provides understanding and love, and our qualified relationship advocates are here to help you get over your hurdles and find happiness with each other once again. We design group emotional intimacy sessions for couples, as well as individual emotional intimacy coaching workshops. Depending on your own needs and preferences, you can choose an option you feel comfortable with. Contact us today!