This post was updated on Nov 29, 2022
Even compatible couples face some bumps in the road from time to time. Relationship success isn’t measured by whether or not problems arise because they likely will at times. It’s actually about navigating these issues together in a healthy and effective way. Challenges may actually strengthen the bonds between you and your partners if they find productive ways of dealing with them as a couple.
Getting to know more about the causes and effects of these pressures is the first step to overcoming relationship challenges. Find out how to recognize the root causes and signs of relationship tension, learn how external factors can affect a couple, and discover healthy strategies for overcoming these difficulties.
What Is Tension In A Relationship?
Relationship tension manifests itself as negative emotions concerning the partner and the relationship. You could be anxious and worried about your future together. It can be caused by a wide variety of internal and external factors. For example, realizing that your partner doesn’t live up to the first impression you had of them can generate tension. Or, interfering family members can put a pressure on the relationship.
Is Tension Normal In A Relationship?
While some movies and social media would have you believe otherwise, all couples have their ups and downs. To an extent, tension is an integral part of life. This means loving, healthy relationships will also face difficulties. It’s how you handle them that determines whether their relationship will disintegrate or continue thriving. If the tension is overwhelming and affects the partners’ mental well-being, relationship coaching can help them communicate better and overcome it.
What Are Internal Relationship Pressures?
Internal pressures can come from different sources, such as:
- Personal differences: Different religions, backgrounds, and upbringing can be points of contention between you and your partner. However, if you react to them with curiosity and then acceptance, these issues don’t have to negatively affect the relationship.
- Miscommunication: Differences in communication styles can cause serious misunderstandings. Not being able to listen and share effectively makes it very difficult to work together on overcoming problems.
- Skewed power dynamic: One partner tends to dominate the dynamic while the other one puts their needs aside for the sake of preserving the relationship. This inequality often results in tension and dissatisfaction.
- Failed expectations: Conflict usually arises when you or your partner’s initial expectations aren’t met. For example, you may love your partner’s spontaneity at first and then realize that you actually find them disorganized and lazy after a while. You may then feel angry and betrayed.
- Suspicion and jealousy: These feelings can make the person insecure, fearful of the future, and controlling of their partner. It can lead to arguments, growing distrust, and finally cause the partners to grow apart.
What Are External Factors In Relationships?
There are many outside factors that can put a strain on a relationship, including:
- Financial difficulties, like being in debt or going bankrupt.
- School or work-related tension, such as unemployment, the stress of an important exam, or the challenges of a high-pressure career.
- Family members who meddle by not approving of the relationship or turning the partners against each other.
- Health issues, which may mean that the bulk of the work and care for one partner will fall on the other one.
- A loved one’s illness or passing, which can devastate the couple and lead to dissatisfaction in other areas of life.
- Political conflicts and natural disasters, which can be extremely threatening and affect the couple emotionally, socially, and financially.
Can Outside Stress Ruin A Relationship?
Unfortunately, external pressures can deeply undermine a relationship and destroy it. Stress that originates from things that are beyond your control, like intense job demands and health problems, easily spills over into the relationship.
When you and your partner are affected by outside stressors, you tend to think, feel, and do things that you otherwise wouldn’t. For example, it can make you hypersensitive and argumentative over small, insignificant things. Stressed people often react impulsively and blow things out of proportion.
You can also vent your frustrations by taking them out on the people closest to you, including your partner. While looking for an outlet during stressful times is advisable and healthy, picking fights with your partner is an ineffective way to do so.
How Do You Fix Tension In A Relationship?
These are some strategies to use to alleviate relationship tension:
- Show your affection: It’s easy to forget to show your partner that you care during times of stress. However, it’s advisable to still find time for each other and give one another the support you need.
- Work on your communication skills: Convey your opinions and feelings clearly, both verbally and using your body language. Relationship coaching can be very helpful when it comes to achieving this.
- Realistic expectations: Get your expectations in check. Try not to have unrealistic expectations on your partner being responsible for your feelings. Each of you are responsible for how you are choosing to communicate.
- Calm down before you talk things through: Try to decompress before you have a conversation with your partner. Discussing things with a clear head is usually more productive. Also, this may give you a better insight into the situation.
Can I Solve Relationship Problems By Finding Solutions At A Retreat?
Here at PIVOT, trained relationship advocates are committed to helping individuals and couples overcome the hurdles that stand in their way. We can provide you with a tailored coaching plan based on our extensive curriculum. As part of our carefully designed individual coaching program, you’ll learn how to recognize the root causes of your current challenges, resolve them, and attach to your partner securely.
By joining our Glass House retreat program for a 5-day stay, you’ll get to work with Master PIVOT advocates and go over a personalized plan. This experience includes one-on-one, group, and experiential coaching sessions as well as meditation, yoga, and balanced nutrition. We host up to six clients at a time to make sure each one receives the unique support they need. Become aware of the underlying causes of your behavior and gain inner strength to resolve the issues that you’re experiencing in your relationship. Join our programs to work through your early wounds and find an effective way to attain peace of mind.