This post was updated on Nov 28, 2022
Having low self esteem is not only detrimental to your psychological well being, but also to your romantic relationships. In fact, confidence is a crucial part of building healthier relationships. If you struggle with deep insecurities, you are very likely to express them in front of your partner, one way or another.
Of course, it is entirely natural to have a fluctuating self esteem, especially when life presents its challenges. However, if your confidence is consistently low, you risk damaging your relationships as well as stunting your personal growth. Luckily, there are several ways you can overcome your low self esteem, including attending a relationship coaching retreat for individuals and learning to be honest with yourself.
Keep reading to learn how having a low-self esteem can affect your romantic relationships and what you can do to boost your self confidence.
How Does Self Esteem Affect Your Relationships?
Knowing your own worth is crucial for creating strong attachments. A significant lack of confidence can lead to the following relationship issues:
- Poor relationship choices: having a low self esteem can cause you to settle for less in terms of relationships. You may feel like you don’t deserve a partner who treats you well, and end up in relationships with individuals who are not right for you.
- Not being yourself: if you are constantly afraid of rejection and feelings of inadequacy, you may try to present yourself differently to your partner, acting in a way that goes against your principles or attitudes.
- Jealous and insecure behaviors: your low confidence can result in negative expectations in your relationships. For instance, you may feel like you don’t deserve your partner or that they may cheat on you or leave because you are not good enough.
- You need constant validation: you may constantly seek validation or reassurance from your partner, trying to prove yourself that you are worthy and lovable. Unfortunately, such attempts are often fruitless, and may even cause your partner to back away.
- You struggle with asserting yourself: if you believe you’re not good or worthy enough, you probably believe that your needs don’t matter. You may ignore your own wishes and desires in the relationship, which often results in resentment and bitterness.
Can Low Self Esteem Ruin A Relationship?
Low self esteem can have an immense impact on the success of your relationship. If you feel like you are worthless or unlovable, it can be hard for everyone else to see your true worth and love you for who you are. And, then at times, people in relationship with you will feel like they are doing something wrong.
For instance, you may be overly needy in your relationships, constantly smothering your partner trying to get their validation and attention. Unfortunately, such behaviors are more likely to distance your partner from the relationship and cause them to doubt their feelings for you. Similarly, if you ignore your own needs for too long, you might become passive aggressive or bitter towards your partner.
What Are The 4 Signs Of Low Self Esteem?
Wondering if you or someone close to you is struggling with low confidence and self esteem? Here are some behaviors to look out for:
Individuals with low self esteem are particularly sensitive to perceived criticism. They often take everything to heart and start feeling inadequate or incompetent at the slightest sign of disaproval from others. This can be a problem in both romantic and professional relationships.
If you struggle with confidence, you may have a hard time controlling your inner critic, but have a tendency to see other people in a highly idealized light. You might feel like everyone else is ahead of you, possessing more desirable traits and being far more successful than you, even if that is not necessarily true.
Due to your feelings of inadequacy, you may start to withdraw from your social circle in order to avoid hurt and shame. When you are alone, you don’t have to worry about other people’s opinion of you. You can feel competent only when you are free from their expectations.
Your fear of failure and lacking confidence can cause you to stay inside your bubble of safety, never peering out. You may take a slow approach to life, avoiding opportunities that may bring you immense benefit and joy, whether it’s in your emotional or professional life.
How Do You Deal With Low Self Esteem In A Relationship?
If your self esteem has caused a great deal of pain and discomfort in your relationship, don’t worry. Your confidence is not set in stone. Here’s what you can do to boost your self esteem:
Shut Down The Inner Critic
Catch your negative thoughts and try to counter them with thoughts that are more realistic and rational. You need to learn to be less harsh on yourself and practice self-care.
Find A Hobby
Focus on yourself instead of seeking constant validation from your partner. Picking up a hobby that works on your strengths will help boost your confidence and improve the relationship with your partner.
Get Professional Help
If your low self esteem keeps causing harm to your relationships, it may be time to seek out support from relationship coaches. They will help you understand the sources of your low self esteem and help you on your path towards reaching your potential.
Find Your Confidence At Our Private Couple Retreats For Reconnection
Are you tired of feeling like you’re not good enough? It may be time to take that first step towards learning to love yourself and improving your emotional relationships. At PIVOT, we offer highly insightful and transformative coaching sessions as well as a range of helpful retreats and workshops for couples that can help you break your bubble and leave the comfort zone.
Our PIVOT Advocates can help you reach within and find your worth without relying on external factors. We’ll help you overcome your core emotional wounds and uncover the unhealthy patterns you’ve been harboring. Reach out to PIVOT today.