This post was updated on Nov 29, 2022
When you are in a loving and stable relationship with a person you can rely on, there should be no reason to feel down, right? Yet, sadness can creep into even the happiest of relationships, and that is entirely normal, even if there are no specific reasons why one or both of the partners are feeling sad.
And, often the sadness can be a deep generational pain that is carried forward from a complex family system that you are born into.
It is important to understand that it is okay to not always be happy in your relationship. Anxiety, depression, and various life circumstances can cause anyone to feel sad, however loving, caring, and kind the people around you are.
Of course, this does not mean that you shouldn’t ask yourself if it is your relationship that is making you unhappy. After all, some relationships can be quite toxic, causing distress and unhappiness for one or both parties involved. If you and your partner are struggling to make it work and you’re feeling down because of it, there are numerous private couple retreats for reconnection that may help you overcome your problems and bring the balance back.
Is It Okay To Be Sad In A Relationship?
Negative emotions are an integral part of our psychological makeup. While you may be able to allay some of them using distractions and various coping mechanisms, others may be incredibly hard to ignore. What’s more, suppressing negative feelings can have serious consequences on your mental health and general life enjoyment.
All of this is to say that feeling sad is perfectly okay, even if you can’t tell the exact reason for your low mood. Your emotions are valid, and ignoring them is unlikely to make you feel better in the long run.
Additionally, accepting your sadness can give you a chance to slow down, reflect, and come to terms with your situation. It is a complex and essential emotion that helps us focus, adapt, accept, and grow.
If you are in a loving relationship, your partner will most likely try to understand your feelings and support you, or at least give you space to work it through. On the other hand, your sadness can change your perception and affect your relationship in a variety of ways, creating potential difficulties for both you and your partner. This is why reaching out to professionals is often the best idea if you feel like your negative emotions are impacting your relationship.
How Do I Tell My Partner I Am Struggling?
As hard as it may sound, speaking up about your negative feelings and the way they affect you can help your partner better understand you and find ways to help you. Whether you’re dealing with general feelings of apathy or struggle with anxiety, letting your partner know about your emotions can be beneficial both for the relationship and your emotional wellbeing as a whole.
Chronic sadness and depression can make you feel hopeless, worthless, angry, or perhaps nothing at all. You may also experience physical symptoms, such as sleep disturbances, irritability, and more. When speaking to your partner, try to be as specific as you can be in explaining your feelings and thoughts.
Lying to your partner about how you really feel may only cause further feelings of guilt, shame, and dissatisfaction. Make sure to show your partner that you respect them and value their opinions by explaining your genuine feelings and trying not to keep any secrets.
Once you tell your partner how you feel, it is likely that they’ll have at least a couple of questions. Be prepared to address your partner’s concerns calmly, without getting annoyed or withdrawing from the conversation.
In order to help you, your partner needs to understand how they can do that. You can help them help you by being honest and explaining to them exactly what they can do to make you feel better in any given situation. Making it clear that you are not placing unrealistic expectations on them. The best way your partner can support you is to listen and encourage you to get professional help if the feelings persist.
At the end of the day, your partner might not be able to provide you with the support you need to get better, and that is okay. As long as both of you are willing to put in the effort to make things work, you can make things better by attending a relationship workshop or visiting a couples retreat together.
How Do You Deal With Sadness In A Relationship?
Everybody deals with sadness differently. Some withdraw from the people closest to them, while others like to talk about their worries openly. Here are some general tips on dealing with sadness in a healthy manner:
- Let yourself feel the sadness: suppressing your negative emotions may work for a little while, but won’t help you in the long run. If you feel like crying, cry. Allow yourself to feel sad.
- Express your emotions: depending on your preferences and situation, you can try to express your sadness through journaling, listening to music, drawing, painting, or spending time with family or friends.
- Think about why you’re feeling sad: try to determine the cause of your sadness. Is there any specific event that made you feel sad? Think about how you feel without judgment and see where your thoughts take you.
- Consider possible changes: sometimes, people feel sad because they subconsciously feel like something in their life needs to change. Consider that possibility and think about any potential paths for improving your relationships and overall quality of life.
- Know when to seek help: if you feel down while you’re with your partner most of the time, it may be time to take a step forward and speak with a compassionate expert who can help you get a new perspective and uncover ways to improve your relationship.
Attend A PIVOT Couples Retreat & Relationship Workshop Today
At PIVOT, we strive to help couples and individuals overcome relationship issues and find happiness in their day to day life. Our highly rated individual coaching sessions and relationship workshops are designed to help you heal by understanding your core relationship wounds and finding ways to facilitate positive change.
If you are ready to take the first step towards modifying your behavioral patterns and building happier relationships, contact PIVOT today.