Put a Spring in your Step
Let’s spring into Spring with intention!
All About YOU
We understand that your journey is all yours and it won’t look like anyone else’s – because there’s no one quite like you – and never will be! That’s part of the beauty of PIVOT – we customize our accessible, affordable, and high-impact solutions to meet your unique and immediate needs.
A Peek Inside
In this issue, we’re excited for you to get to know Coach Kara Ratte. PIVOT has helped Kara deepen her own marriage and she is also a big advocate of the experiential work that is part of the PIVOT process. Check out our February PIVOT Poll Results – and take this month’s PIVOT Poll. There’s a lot going on under our expansive roof, so check out our What’s Happening section to be part of the action.
Soak up the Sunshine
Shower yourself with meaningful connections this month – and put a spring in your step during this energizing time of year. We’re here for the long run and you have our unyielding support!
Here’s to a happy, healthy, and healing Spring!
PIVOT Coach Kara Ratte
PIVOT Focuses on Lasting Recovery
“PIVOT speaks to simplicity. That’s one of the many reasons why it’s such a powerful curriculum. The PIVOT process was designed to be easily accessible, so clients can embrace PIVOT’s empowering tools leading to healthy outcomes,” says PIVOT Coach Kara Ratte.
HAVE IT YOUR WAY
Kara, who worked as a Program Administrator at a treatment program in California before joining PIVOT, says that PIVOT’s philosophy is unique. “We meet people where they are at any point in their lives. Our coaches don’t have preconceived expectations about what needs to happen or what is going to happen. Some people get through the process with great speed and land quickly. Other people operate on a different timetable. There are typically peaks and valleys on the journey. And it’s all okay.”
PIVOT, adds Kara, also allows individuals to work in the way that is most convenient and comfortable for them whether that’s individual coaching via Zoom, private, group, or couples intensives or business coaching – and everything else in between.
A LOOK INSIDE
Kara, who has been facilitating psychodrama programs for many years, was especially interested in the experiential work that is an instrumental part of the PIVOT process. She says this work has helped her personally learn how to keep herself safe and calm; how to recognize situations that are triggering and activating; and how to take care of herself in the moment – and afterward.
“PIVOT,” says Kara, “goes beyond looking only at what you’re thinking, especially about the past. It gives you a chance to access emotions and memories that live deep within your body and how this compels us to make certain choices and do certain things. Having this insight allows you to take back some of your power by making healthier choices moving forward.”
Kara, who has been married for almost 29 years and met her husband when they were both teenagers in the army, says that PIVOT has been instrumental in her own partnership. “Doing this important work as a couple has given my husband and me valuable insight into why we are the way we are. We have learned how our marriage operates around our development parts and this realization was life-affirming for both of us.”
She says that the boundary work inherent in the PIVOT process is an eye-opener. “When it comes to boundaries, many people are confused. A boundary doesn’t mean setting an expectation. The boundary isn’t to tell someone not to call you after 10 p.m. because that’s an expectation. If you don’t want calls after 10 p.m., then don’t pick up the phone. When you set boundaries, they are your boundaries and it’s your responsibility to uphold them.”
FOR THE LONG HAUL
Most people with a burning desire to transform their lives tend to be most attracted to PIVOT. Says Kara: “Although there will always be people in constant crisis, we tend to work with individuals who are motivated to leave their trauma and drama behind – and who are eager to PIVOT into healthy adults. We aim to heal our clients for the long haul.”
Our Clients Say It Best:
Opening Her Heart to PIVOT Helped Client Cat Embrace Powerful Outcomes
“My five-day Relational Intensive at the Glass House started on Valentine’s Day, and it was the best Valentine’s Day gift I could ever give myself. It changed my life in so many positive ways!” says PIVOT client Cat.
Trauma is no stranger to Cat, who lost “her best friend and greatest ally” in a “freak” accident. In addition, she also lost one of her roommates to suicide. “I lost the person I most cared about and, as a result, I no longer cared about myself. The ultimate neglect is having the one person you could never ever imagine leaving you to do just that. So, I neglected myself. I wasn’t doing the things I knew I needed to do anymore. I wasn’t talking to people about what was going on with me. I wasn’t working out. And I was actively seeking danger,” says Cat, who is studying clinical psychology.
Trust the Process
Fortunately, Cat learned of PIVOT through a colleague she worked with in the behavioral health field. Even though she wasn’t familiar with the PIVOT curriculum, Cat knew that trusting the process would be crucial to realizing the best possible outcomes. “I had tried so many different modalities without success. I was discouraged. PIVOT was unlike anything I had ever tried before, and I knew I needed to trust the process for it to be effective. I was all in – and opened my heart to what was being shared with me by the experts. I attribute part of my success to my willingness to be open-minded while working the curriculum,” adds Cat, who is now working with a PIVOT Coach to continue her healing journey.
The experiential component in the curriculum was especially impactful for Cat. “It gave me a chance to speak to my best friend again through my different parts of self. I had a safe, nurturing, and loving environment to express many things that were left unsaid. The process allowed me to gain a deeper understanding of who I am – and so much of who I am is my child and teen who I had been neglecting for way too long.” Cat now takes care of her parts of self through engaging in self-care, including paint-by-numbers, crafting, and renovating furniture with her dad. As a result of her PIVOT work, Cat has rekindled her relationship with her father – and has found the experience to be extremely comforting and heartwarming.
PIVOT to PIVOT
She is grateful to have discovered PIVOT during one of the most challenging times in her life. “I feel aligned and alive again! The PIVOT process has been exciting, energizing and has brought me immense relief. It has helped me from simply intellectualizing what I was doing to bringing it back to what I feel inside my heart. My heart needed a lot of healing. The experience has and continues to be so transformational that I want to PIVOT to being a PIVOT coach someday to help others on their own unique journeys.”
Speaking of Relationships:
Ask Lori Jean
Spring Cleaning for Couples
Question: I’ve been with my partner for several years and we just moved in together. I love that we’ve taken this next step. However, she is so messy! There’s makeup all over the bathroom, clothes on the floor, and empty amazon boxes sitting out and open. I feel so frustrated with the clutter. I don’t want to control her but why can’t she understand how the chaos in the house drives me crazy? I feel like she doesn’t take care of our new place very well. I’ve made a commitment to her – why can’t she make a commitment to us and our home?
Answer: Great news that you guys have gone to the next level of commitment. However, the reality of living together and sharing space with the one we love can also be a hard pill to swallow. People come from different backgrounds and place different levels of importance on the cleanliness of their homes. Rather than stew frustration or try to control her, why not sit down together, and talk about your expectations?
Perhaps she had a controlling parent and this is how she feels free. Maybe she is expecting you to do it. It’s best to let these differences come out in the open and “breathe” so you can problem-solve together. Often our differences are not really that different and we can find a way to meet in the middle.
Ideas for meeting in the middle:
- Keep one room off-limits from needing to be clean where the messier partner can just be themselves. The other areas of the house need to be kept up by both of you, but one area of the house is just “hers,” clutter and all.
- If you can afford it, hire a housekeeper to keep the basics of the house clean and ask your partner to do a “sweep” of the house to pick up her things once a day or twice a week.
- Consider adjusting your expectations regarding your house and your partner. If she is a good match for you in every other way, there is the freedom to be found in accepting those parts of others that are simply frustrating but are not true deal-breakers.
- Finally, ask yourself if there’s a method to her madness? If she is highly creative, productive, or effective at work but a little messy at home, this might be the price of her success. Some people can highly focus on one or two areas but not on all areas. To maximize the more important things they have to let other things go. If you can mentally adjust to seeing her mess as part of her success it might be easier to let it go and enjoy the things about her that attracted you in the beginning.
Listen, Listen, Listen!
On May 21st, PIVOT Coach Deb Reid is facilitating a day of silence at the beautiful Zen Center Green Gulch Farm located in Muir Beach – Northern CA. If you are interested in attending – or know of someone who would like to get in touch with a deeper part of themselves – or as we describe it at PIVOT – a developmental part – come join us! In silence, we hear our voice until it turns off… and that’s when the magic happens! Call Deb directly for more information and to reserve your spot! 707-490-2066
Pre-marital I DO!
Did you know that we have a retreat for couples getting married? Preparing for that special day is not nearly as important as preparing for a lifetime with your special person. Why not come to embrace learning more about your partner’s wants and needs in your relationship? Discover how to be a dynamic team and create your own unique ways to deepen intimacy and resolve conflict! Identify the values you want to embody as a couple that will also guide your future! “Best Present Ever!”