Staying the Course
Welcome to 2022! I hope you made the best of the holidays during what was an unprecedented season. We are doing our part in making our environment safe and our mindsets practical, peaceful, and positive. My family started off in 2022 by dropping like flies with Covid. We are feeling better now and I am eager to experience new energy in 2022 as PIVOT continues to transform lives.
Words are powerful – and what we say to ourselves matters. Encouraging ourselves to be kind with our own self-talk is healthy and results in healthier actions. It’s hard to move forward when we are not treating ourselves with compassion. And, the inner dialogue and messaging we tell ourselves has so much to do with relational outcomes. For those of you who have attended The Glass House, you know how powerful it was to experience the words you painted on your canvases!
Even though our to-do lists can seem lengthy and overwhelming, why not choose any day of the year to embark on a first – a first time for setting boundaries with a certain friend; a first time for trying out a Pilates class; a first time to break out your guitar and finally take lessons; and a first time for a new self-care practice. My first this year is to take an archery class – after all, I am a Sagittarius, and Katness from hunger games is my spirit animal! What are you going to do that is new?
Words and kind gestures matter to others too. Extending a helping hand, a kind heart, or a sincere gesture can have a lasting impact on someone’s life – as well as on your own life. Offer a genuine compliment to a stranger; share a funny story to lighten that person’s day, or pick up the tab for the coffee the guy in front of you at the coffee shop ordered. Giving feels good and stress melts away when we can share joy.
Here and Now
While January is a great time to make changes, any month or day of the year can open the door to new opportunities and adventures. You decide what choices you’re going to make every single day. Why not celebrate each day as a New Day!
Hot Off the Press
In this issue, we’re proud to feature Kayla Schmitz, our Director of Admissions, in our SPOTLIGHT section. Kayla is a cancer survivor who believes in the power of faith, courage, and embracing community. We are so fortunate to have her on our team! Find out how working with a PIVOT Coach helped our client, Peter, achieve his goals and is helping him reinvent himself. You’ll also find out the results of our December PIVOT Poll. We encourage you to take this month’s poll … and check out all the other content in our January 2022 issue of PIVOTworks.
Begin your empowering and enlightening journey today… we’re here for you!
PIVOT Admissions Director Kayla Schmitz
How PIVOT Rocked Kayla’s World!
“My parents went on four dates. They knew each other for two weeks and got engaged. To this day, they remain two peas in a pod… a perfect fit! So, I used to think that was the norm,” says Kayla Schmitz, PIVOT’s Director of Admissions.
Kayla explains that PIVOT helped her lose her fantasy lens and exchange it for one of reality. She says she once believed she had to follow her parents’ footsteps and finally understands that it’s okay for her to be on her own unique and wonderful path.
Easy Does It
“PIVOT helped me see that I don’t have to be in a major rush when it comes to matters of the heart. I learned that it’s important to take your time, think things through, know what you want (and don’t want) and, most importantly, have your voice through it all. Romance isn’t all about fairy tales. It’s about waking up and telling your partner you’re going to choose him or her today – and mean it by what you say and what you do,” continues Kayla.
She has found PIVOT to be a game-changer and says the empowering curriculum helped transform her life. “The PIVOT curriculum keeps you moving forward on your life’s journey. You’re given a curriculum – a tangible road map tailored to your specific needs. It’s an action-based program, which translates into powerful results. PIVOT is forever evolving – and that’s true about life. It helps you grow as a human being and show up as your healthy adult in what can often be a chaotic world.”
A Bump in the Road
PIVOT also helped Kayla deal with a major life tragedy – a cancer diagnosis at age 24. She had seven years of chemotherapy – and the great news is that she has been in remission for 8 years. “When you’re a cancer patient, everything becomes one big routine. You show up at the hospital, you know who you are going to see and what is going to be done. It’s like you’re in a protective bubble with tons of support. We celebrated anything and everything. Like prom, shown in the picture below! When I was finally declared cancer-free, I had no idea how to function in the outside world anymore. And you’re always wondering if cancer will return. I was scared.”
Kayla went on to write and produce VINCIBLE – a highly acclaimed 90-minute documentary available on Amazon that speaks to the loneliness, isolation, and fear involved with being a young adult with cancer. She illustrates how bringing together a community of young adults who shared many of her challenges helped her heal. It’s pretty remarkable what Kayla accomplished by creating the Vincible project. We are so proud of her.
Bald is Beautiful
Kayla – who has been married to her husband Jeff for four years and mother to beautiful 4-year-old Charlee – did not meet Jeff in a traditional setting. “During my chemotherapy, my friends posted pictures of a bald me on Facebook. Well, my now husband saw this bald woman and thought, ‘This cool chic is a badass, and I have to meet her.’ We met and, of course, I told him why I was bald – and the rest is history.”
Before PIVOT entered her life, Kayla said she had such an intense disconnect with herself that there were times she literally wished her cancer would return or that she would become invisible. Through much hard work, Kayla has learned to accept herself – flaws and all. “I have a deeper understanding of who I am and a level of compassion for myself that I’ve never ever felt before. The intimacy I now have with myself is what saved my life, and I attribute this to my experience at The Glass House Retreat. It rocked my world!”
Our Clients Say It Best:
How PIVOT Is Helping Client Peter Reinvent Himself
“The 5-Day Relational Glass House Retreat gave me a chance to look at all parts of self – child, adolescent, adult and, ultimately, healthy adult,” says Peter. “The PIVOT process was an eye-opener for me. Although I had a lot of knowledge coming in, it was here that I learned to incorporate what I knew deep down in my body and into my thinking process, allowing me to behave as my healthy adult. The tools I took away from the experience are helping me accomplish so much more.”
Prepare to Pause
When I now find myself in challenging situations, explains Peter, I know which part of me is being activated and why that’s the case. PIVOT has taught Peter how to pause. “For the most part,” he continues, “I can feel what I’m feeling now and can think things through as a heathy adult instead of instantly reacting. By processing events from my past, I can finally see situations more clearly and behave more appropriately. I no longer have to take responsibility for everything happening around me.”
Working with PIVOT Coach Fernando after the five-day Retreat has been extremely beneficial for Peter, providing him with a chance to dig even deeper. “The Relational Retreat,” he continues, “is the perfect setting to learn why you are where you are in your life. However, it doesn’t mean all your work is behind you – or that you’ve graduated. I still experienced a lot of angst, anger, and passive- aggressive behavior. Working with Fernando has been instrumental in keeping me moving forward and in helping me define what I now want to achieve. It’s giving me a chance to reinvent myself and to focus on what’s important.”
Peter envisions a bright future – and looks forward to setting new goals. “I’m excited about immersing myself and focusing on what’s important to me both personally and professionally. As I turn 60, I’m ready for this new phase of my life – and PIVOT absolutely helped me get here!”
Speaking of Relationships:
Ask Lori Jean
My girlfriend has become a vegetarian and insists I do the same. I’m a meat and potato guy and I don’t want to give up what I love to eat. She wants us to eat the same meals and hates that I enjoy a good steak. What should I do? Dave.
Your question is more common than you may think. Food is so tied into mood and nutrition – a focal point for many. I’m curious, what is the reasoning for your girlfriend to “hate” that you are enjoying a good steak? Is there an allergy involved? Is she a vegetarian because of animal rights beliefs? Do you know?
People become vegetarians for many reasons, including health, religious convictions, concerns about animal welfare or the use of antibiotics and hormones in livestock, or a desire to eat in a way that avoids excessive use of environmental resources. Why does she want you to join her? Listen to her reasoning without getting defensive. Then, do you – if you have no desire to become a vegetarian (it’s a BIG ask by the way), allow her to hear your reasoning. Then the two of you can embrace one of the greatest attributes of a healthy relationship – acceptance! Accept your differences and not try to control each other’s way of life with food. Get creative in the kitchen and embrace each other’s lifestyles. Perhaps once in a while, you could eat a vegetarian meal – it won’t hurt you.
If you can’t find a way to compromise and accept each other’s relationship with food, the need to control and change each other won’t stop there. Then we need to get more curious. There may be a chance that there are other areas in your relationship that you each are trying to control. If so, we can help with that in a short period of time. Hopefully in time for BBQ season – two BBQs of course!
We’re here to help. Have a question for one of our coaches? Please submit to [email protected]
Our PIVOT Coach Summit has been rescheduled due to the recent surge in COVID cases and restrictions in Northern CA where we are based. Looking forward to when we can reschedule! Stay tuned…
PIVOT Family Retreats
Our family retreats have become even more popular! We’ve had a mother/daughter come in together to create a more honest and healthy connection; a father and his two adult children attended to flush out the complications around addiction, and three sisters came together to navigate conflict around the loss of a parent. For more information on how your family could create stronger connections and bonds, call us!
Upcoming Alumni Tribe
If you are interested in joining a small group of Healthy Adults (70% of the time 🙂 sign up for the upcoming PIVOT Alumni Tribe! You can expect to create a healthy Whole Perspective for 2022 and revisit your circle boundaries to create healthy connections! You will also increase self-efficacy for those parts of you that get activated. And, what’s really great is you will meet and share ideas with like-minded people who believe in the power of PIVOT! This tribe will begin on Jan. 24th, 8:00 am – 9:15 am PST and run for six weeks. $360 for the series! Call Kayla in Admissions to reserve your spot! 949-860-9997.
The Domino Effect
“When one person in a family becomes healthier, it has the potential to change the trajectory of the entire family. When someone settles down their own trauma and drama, it often has a ripple effect on other family members.” – PIVOT Coach Cindy Finch