Buy Yourself the Box of Chocolate!
Although many people associate Valentine’s Day with romantic partnerships, the greatest romance we will ever have is our relationship with ourselves. We are worthy of an abundance of love! By giving ourselves the love – along with the chocolate, roses, and other generous gestures we freely give to others! – we nourish our mind, body, and spirit. Engaging in self-care empowers us with the tools to live our best lives.
While any day of the year is an ideal opportunity to nurture yourself, Valentine’s Day is as good a time as any to assess the relationship you have with yourself. Are we truly doing what’s in our best interest? Are we giving ourselves the time, tools, and attention we need to soar? Do we have a strategy in place to get to where we want to be in life, including your relationships?
If you have ever been to my house, you probably noticed that I have the word love in 13 different places. I wasn’t really conscious of it until someone pointed it out to me. How ironic – I craved attention and love for years – and took others, hostage, with my anxiety in an attempt to get it! Until I was able to have a relationship with myself and learn my WHY – why I couldn’t love myself – I stayed riding what I call the Crazy Train! Of course, I have love messages all over my house! It’s a reminder to love myself and from there, I have an abundance of love for others and I can let them be who they need to be in the world.
While Valentine’s Day has traditionally been marked as a time for romantic dinners with significant others, it also speaks to self-love – treating yourself with compassion, understanding, and kindness. Take yourself to your favorite museum, read an inspiring book, get in a workout at the gym, or pamper yourself with a candlelight dinner. Whatever you do – Celebrate YOU!
A Look Inside
We’re excited to introduce PIVOT Coach Gaby in this month’s SPOTLIGHT section who shares how the PIVOT process helped her manage the important relationships in her life – and how the process also helped ramp up her self-care regimen. You’ll also discover the results of our January PIVOT Poll – and have an opportunity to participate in this month’s poll. And lots more…
Whatever else you do this month (and every month moving forward), be sure to give yourself time and space to shine! And don’t forget to pick up that box of chocolate for YOU to enjoy! We’re here to support you on your journey to embrace self-love and much more…
PIVOT Coach Gaby Fabian
Witnessing Clients’ AHA Moments Inspires PIVOT Coach Gaby!
“One of the unique characteristics of PIVOT is that our coaches have different styles and bring their own personalities to the table. Although we’re all guided by the same PIVOT process and curriculum, we can reach the same outcomes in our own unique ways. We get to take our authentic selves into the process– and that is so freeing!” says PIVOT Coach Gaby Fabian. She adds that the PIVOT executive team is extremely skilled at matching coaches and clients, which is another important variable in achieving the best possible outcomes.
Gaby has found the PIVOT process to be life-changing on a personal level because, among other milestones, she became better equipped at setting and maintaining her own boundaries. “The Relational Circle Boundaries made a big difference in my life. I no longer feel compelled to over-disclose every detail about myself and my life. I used to think doing so would create trust and intimacy – and I now know that is the furthest thing from the truth. Learning how to manage relationships in my life is key to keeping me emotionally safe and healthy.”
Gaby, who is also a Certified Equine Interaction Professional (CBEIP-ED), says that working with horses has also played an important role in her own personal healing journey. “Many people are initially skeptical about equine coaching until they experience it firsthand. “Once people realize that these horses are merely a reflection of themselves – their patterns, habits and how they are showing up in the world – these same individuals quickly turn into believers. Doing this work has helped me learn a lot about myself and has given me valuable insights regarding my work as a PIVOT coach.”
PIVOT taught Gaby about her own survival patterns – habitual behaviors that she used to help her manage her uncomfortable feelings. Through this understanding and realization, she has learned how to create new healthy responses to her feelings and how to make better choices. Doing so is a way for her to work on her self-care on a deeper level, so she can fully show up for herself and her clients.
“Nothing beats being out in nature with my horses. It’s my go-to when I need to take a pause. It has helped me get through the most difficult times in my life – and it continues to be an essential part of my life and self-care.”
Her self-care regimen, however, doesn’t stop there. “I maintain a long list of activities from yoga to reading, photography to Pilates, and spending time with my dog. I work with shelter animals at our local Humane Society, ride my horse, and partake in many forms of physical exercise. When I’m in need of “me time,” I turn to this list and make sure I never lose sight of the value of self-care.”
Yearn to Learn
Gaby loves to learn and says she learns from her clients all the time. “In the big picture, we can all be students and teachers for each other. You can’t abandon your own human nature. Sometimes, a client will say something that resonates with me, and I learn something new about myself. The beauty of PIVOT is that we get to hold up a mirror for our clients – and for ourselves.”
When asked what she likes best about being a PIVOT coach, Gaby replies: “I love witnessing my clients’ AHA moments. It feeds my soul!”
Our Clients Say It Best:
Putting PIVOT Into Action is Key to Client Joseph’s Transformation
“PIVOT emphasizes taking action – and goes beyond talk. You can’t talk about why it’s important to go to the gym and expect to see results. You must take actionable steps. You must do the work. If you put the PIVOT curriculum into practice, you’re going to see results – and you’re going to see them quickly. I can attest to that firsthand because that’s what is happening for me,” says Joseph, who continues to put in the work at age 69.
Joseph, who lived in numerous “boys homes” during his childhood is now a healthcare provider in the behavioral health field. He learned from an early age that it wasn’t safe to trust anyone – and, subsequently, internalized these beliefs until not trusting anyone became a habit. “Any conditioning, especially emotional conditioning, eventually becomes a habit over time. All I knew was how to react. I used to walk around like a steam engine with so much pent-up anger inside me.”
Joseph began his healing journey when he turned 38, however, there was something missing from the work he was doing. PIVOT turned out to be that missing piece. He met Lori Jean and quickly realized the importance and relevance of the work she was doing. “PIVOT, ” says Joseph, ”gave me an opportunity to redo the ways in which I see how the world impacts me – and the other way around.”
Putting Process Into Practice
Among the outcomes of the work Joseph did was to gain a deeper understanding of his emotional makeup. “When I’m immersed in the negative,” continues Joseph, who earned a Master’s degree in Family and Marriage Therapy, “I now have fast-acting tools to counteract these feelings with actionable strategies that eventually turn into habits if I remain consistent. It’s sort of like putting a freeze on my destructive thoughts and actions while I take time out to install healthier strategies – and then I can pivot into my healthy adult.”
Joseph is attracted to the abundance of ongoing support available through PIVOT. What’s more, the members of his Healthy Adult 2.0 group keep in touch through monthly Zoom meetings. “We check in with each other to find out what’s going right – and where we might be slipping up. These powerful exchanges keep building up my Healthy Adult muscle. The best part is that everyone in the group speaks the same PIVOT language. We get it – and we get each other. PIVOT will continue to change my life!”
Speaking of Relationships:
Ask Lori Jean
I see you are offering Hope and Healing retreats and was curious if that would be a good fit for me. I have a good life today, however, I have a lot of trauma in my childhood and the memories keep me from being present with my own children at times. I think that avoiding the pain is now catching up to me. What do you suggest I do? Miranda S.
First of all, thank you Miranda for your important question. The author of the book Grief is Good and PIVOT Coach Cindy Finch leads the Hope and Healing Retreat at The Glass House. When she approached me about writing a book about grief, I urged her to revolve the overall tone of her book around helping people understand that grieving is actually good. What I know to be true is when we don’t process our grief, we stuff it into our nervous system and it then becomes activated – uncontrollably and often unconsciously.
Before my personal growth work began when my children were small, I would take them out for ice cream. Just like you do, I come from a lot of childhood trauma. At times, two things would surface during our outings to the ice cream store. First… the memory of my Pappaw – my grandfather – taking me out for ice cream when I was young. This memory left me missing my family members who were no longer with us. Second… the memory of my getting ice cream after one of my uncles sexually abused me when I was a teenager left me numb and unable to be present in the moment for my children.
If we “stuff” our memories and fail to process our grief and trauma, this can and will inevitably surface. And to avoid the uncomfortable feelings, we often engage in actions that create more self-harm.
If any of this is relatable to you, I encourage you to seek help to process the pain inside. My hope for you and your family is that you will bravely step into your grief work. Please know that we are here for you.
We’re here to help. Have a question for one of our coaches? Please submit to [email protected]
PIVOT Personalized PIVOTS
An immersive experience may be just right for you. Some people prefer to jump in and address situations quickly and thoroughly. If you seek positive growth, have a relational challenge, or time-sensitive crisis, this option would be optimal. Working one-on-one with a PIVOT coach for one or two days, you learn the PIVOT process and swiftly “pivot” to a healthier self. An intensive is ideal for people seeking solutions in a timely manner and who want to work privately in person. Our trained PIVOT coaches guide you through an experiential and personalized process to help you devise high-impact solutions and explore your next best steps. Coaches are available to work privately with you in your home or at the Glass House retreat center. You choose.
Upcoming HealthyAdult 2.0
If you are alumni, call Admissions to register for our upcoming Healthy Adult 2.0 Retreat. Jump into the “World Series” which takes running the bases into a whole new experience! Meet other #HealthyAdults who are thinking, feeling, and living authentically!
Becoming a PIVOT Coach
Curious about becoming a PIVOT coach? We have opportunities available. If you have a coaching, healing, or therapy background and want to learn more about becoming a PIVOT coach, give us a call! We are excited about building our team.
“PIVOT has given me a deeper understanding of who I am and a level of compassion for myself that I’ve never ever felt before. The intimacy I now have with myself is what saved my life, and I attribute this to my experience at The Glass House Retreat. It rocked my world!”… PIVOT Admissions Director Kayla Schmitz