This post was updated on Apr 22, 2023
All of us want and need to feel accepted, loved, and cared for. It is one of the basic psychological necessities of human existence that start in childhood, and follow us to and through adulthood.
That is why experiencing any type and extent of emotional neglect, and the fear of suffering emotional abandonment is harsh and destabilizing. And why even being ignored by the person you care for hurts.
If you’re currently undergoing mental strain due to one or several of these psychological issues, perhaps you should think about attending a love addiction intensive workshop where you can work on easing, accepting and overcoming the pain of rejection. Learning about the minutiae of emotional rejection and how it can negatively affect your life if left uncared for is the first step in enhancing your emotional well-being. .
Why Is Rejection So Hard?
Rejection is an act of being willfully pushed away from a person you care about. You can experience rejection from a partner, family members, coworkers, or friends, and no matter who rejects you, it can still cause emotional pain and distress.
In some relationships, emotional rejection may be a logical continuation of extended periods of emotional manipulation. However, not everybody will clearly communicate the reasons for rejecting you, and it is not uncommon that you remain out of the loop when it comes to the underlying cause.
This is why rejection can be extremely hard, especially when you’re left without any kind of explanation. At other times, it is the intensity of the ended relationship that intensifies the pain. Whatever the type of rejection you’re experiencing, chances are that it may lead to emotional distress, negative effects on your self-esteem, and even, in some cases, depression.
The 3 Types Of Rejection
There are three main types of rejection, each with its own set of emotional encumbrances and psychological hardships. No matter the kind of rejection you’re going through, it is always wise to seek help if you’re struggling to overcome and accept the situation.
- Familial rejection – This type of rejection most commonly involves parental rejection, but it can also mean that you’re being rejected by your sibling. It can include different types of emotional abuse, neglect, abandonment, or the lack of affection and love. This kind of emotional rejection can leave individuals dealing with the consequences throughout their lives.
- Social rejection – Most often, individuals suffer this form of rejection very early in their childhood. It can range from school alienation to numerous kinds of bullying. However, it can extend beyond childhood into adulthood, and various social groups. The individuals who tend to challenge the norm are more prone to this type of rejection.
- Relationship rejection – This type of rejection is mostly reserved for romantic relationships. It can range from your partner refusing to share an experience with you to actually ending the relationship. This is the type of rejection that usually causes immediate and intense emotional distress. In these cases, intensive coaching sessions can be highly beneficial.
What Does Rejection Do To A Person?
The initial response of suffering rejection is emotional pain. While some types of rejection have a way of resolving themselves quickly, such as experiencing rejection by rude unfamiliar people, other forms of rejection can have more serious consequences:
Rejection that causes extreme feelings, as well as long-term rejection, can have significant psychological effects on a person. For example, if a child suffers constant emotional rejection by parents, it may result in difficulties at school or problems with forming relationships later on in life due to fear of rejection.
There are instances that link rejection to depression. Although this happens in extreme cases, the mere possibility of rejection leading to depression means that emotional repercussions of rejection have to be addressed.
- Stress and anxiety
If you’re already battling stress and anxiety, rejection can worsen their symptoms. Additionally, experiencing rejection can also cause anxiety and stress, which is something to pay attention to.
- Physical pain
While psychological and emotional pain are most common results, rejection can cause a person to experience actual physical pain. The parts of our brain activated when withstanding physical pain are the same ones that activate when you experience emotional pain.
Why Does Rejection Cause Obsession?
On the one hand, even the fear of being rejected by an individual you care for, either romantically or in a different way, can lead to us developing clingy and obsessive behavioral patterns.
On the other hand, there’s also a biological explanation as to why rejection may cause obsessive behavior. Romantic rejection stimulates the same parts of our brain that are in charge of keeping us motivated.
Also, it affects the parts of our brain associated with addiction, rewards, and cravings. This is the biological explanation of why, when a person romantically rejects you, you tend to develop feelings of obsessive devotion.
However, there are multiple ways to explain this obsessive psychological trend. For instance, you may think it’s your fault, and you’re trying to make up for your mistakes. Perhaps you think the person’s still the perfect one for you. Whatever the reasons, it’s not uncommon for rejection to have obsessive ramifications.
How Do You Deal With Rejection In A Relationship?
There are ways to deal with emotional rejection in a healthy, constructive way. Sometimes your attempts to overcome love addiction won’t amount to much without seeking help from qualified relationship advocates. However, this should not stop you from trying to employ the following techniques:
Allow yourself the luxury of letting all the feelings, both positive and negative, flow through you. Let yourself experience them all. Don’t hide from them, don’t try pushing them away. Embrace them and make the first step toward recovery.
Make sure you don’t fall into denial. Be realistic and come to terms with the fact that you are going to hurt and that things are about to get painful. It is through this process of understanding and acceptance that the process of healing begins.
It is normal for people who are dealing with rejection to start blaming themselves rather quickly all the while idealizing the other person. But know this – it wasn’t just your fault. It takes two to tango, just as it takes two to end it.
Don’t just stop at not blaming yourself. Go a step further and grant yourself some compassion. Surround yourself with people who will provide you with compassion and support, too. Do this not because you need anybody’s approval or acceptance, but because you should have people who will understand and listen to you without judgement.
You’re more than the sum of all the negative feelings currently swirling inside you. You’re more than the pain you’re experiencing, and you’re more than the one that’s just been rejected. You’re more than the way you’re feeling now, and don’t forget it!
Learn not just from your mistakes, but from the way you’ve been treated, the way the relationships transpired, and the manner in which it ended. Take some time to make the idealistic rose-colored picture a bit more realistic, and you’ll find solace in it.
Finally, don’t be frightened of asking for help. There are professional relationship advocates who have experience and knowledge to help the people who are going through the same things as you. Professionals can address an array of issues, including rejection, emotional attachment, love addiction and obsession, etc.They can help you navigate through it all and identify negative behavioral patterns that you can change.
Come To Terms With Rejection In Our Love Addiction Intensive Workshop
Emotional rejection may be an ongoing issue even between long-term partners, without leading to a break-up, but with highly damaging consequences. If you feel like the time for getting help, consider turning to professionals.
At PIVOT, we provide various intensive love addiction workshops for couples, and we can also teach you plenty of methods to help you recognize and enhance emotional intimacy in your future relationships through individual coaching with our advocates.
No need to deal with such a flood of emotions all alone. Reach out to our seasoned PIVOT advocates as soon as possible and be quickly on your way to a happy continuation of your life. Contact us today!