This post was updated on Nov 29, 2022
Most people don’t enter into a marriage consciously thinking they will get divorced in the future. And, statistics show it does happen all too often. When you have children together, things can become even more complicated and emotional. If you are considering divorce or are in the midst of a separation, you may be wondering how it will affect your children. You may be inclined to stay in an unhappy marriage for the sake of your children, although it’s likely you’ll have a deep doubt if it’s the best option for them. You might be giving them an unhealthy example that may only make things more difficult, especially when you’re dealing with divorce depression.
If you’re like most parents, you’d like to prevent them from feeling like they are responsible for the break-up, and ensure they still have a stable home life. Equally important is that you find a way to take care of yourself and seek support. For example, you can get in touch with a remote relationship coach and start over. In this article, we will explore all of these questions and more.
Are You More Likely To Divorce If You Have Children?
There is no definitive answer to this question. Some studies suggest that parents of girls are more likely to divorce than parents of boys. Nevertheless, this only applies to first-born children between the ages of 13 and 18. Ultimately, it varies from case to case. There are some periods of your child’s life that can pose a challenge for your relationship. For example, when they are babies, they require a lot of attention and care. Some couples tend to grow closer during this period, although in a slightly different role, and others might feel like they are losing personal space or that they lack intimacy with their spouse.
Is It Hard To Divorce When You Have Children?
While divorce is never easy, it can be especially difficult when you have children. This is because you not only have to deal with your own emotions – your children are affected as well. Additionally, you will need to figure out a custody arrangement that works for both you and your ex-partner. If you don’t have issues in communicating with your ex, this may not be too difficult. However, if there is conflict, it can make the process much more challenging.
Should I Stay In An Unhappy Marriage For My Child?
There is no easy answer to this question. Of course, it depends on the individual situation and what is best for your child. If you are in an unhappy marriage, it is important to consider how this is affecting them. For example:
- Are they witnessing fights between you and your spouse?
- Are they being neglected?
- Are they being emotionally or physically abused?
If the answer to any of these questions is yes, it may be time to consider splitting up for everyone’s sake. While it is never easy to end a marriage, sometimes it is necessary for the well-being of your child. It may be better to divorce and provide them with stable home life. If you have given up on saving your relationship and reconnecting with your spouse after separation, it’s probably best to move on.
How Do You Separate Amicably With Children?
If you are working on an amicable separation or divorce, there are a few things you can do to make the process easier on your children.
First, try to keep communication open with your ex-partner. This will help to ensure that you are both on the same page when it comes to parenting. Additionally, be sure to explain the situation to your children in an age-appropriate way. Finally, make sure they know that they’re not responsible for the divorce and that you both still love them.
Make a Parenting Plan
It is important to continue acting as a team and create a plan. This will help to provide stability for your children and ensure that their needs are being met. Try to be flexible when creating the plan as things may change in the future. Additionally, make sure to involve your children in the process and listen to their suggestions if they are age appropriate. If there is alot of anger an resentment between you and your soon to be ex – TRY to put that aside when you are focusing on the health of your children. It can seem like a tall order – and it is – expecially if you are the one who is being left however if you don’t do this, the challenges your children will have in the future are going to be monumental.
Set A Positive Example
The divorce is not the end of your parenting role and make sure your children know that. Try to set a positive example by remaining civil with your ex-partner and cooperating on parenting decisions. It’s important not to hold grudges, even if infidelity was in the mix. Additionally, encourage your children to express their feelings and be there for them when they need you.
Draw Healthy Boundaries
Even though you’re still parenting your children, it’s important to draw healthy boundaries with your ex-partner. This means that you should not discuss personal matters or argue in front of your children. Additionally, try to avoid badmouthing your ex-partner to them. Finally, make sure to respect their time with their other parent.
Take Care of Yourself
Finally, remember to take care of yourself during this difficult time. This means taking time for your own emotional needs and seeking support if necessary. Additionally, try to maintain a positive outlook and focus on the future. Doing so will help you to better cope with the situation and be there for your children. Of course, it will strengthen you over time and you’ll be more likely to move on to a new healthy relationship.
When Separating Or Considering A Divorce, How Can A Remote Relationship Coach Help?
If you are considering divorce or are in the process of divorcing, a remote relationship coach can help. PIVOT relationship advocates can provide you with much necessary guidance and support during this difficult time. Additionally, they can offer advice on how to communicate with your ex-partner, help you establish an amicable way of cooperation, and navigate the emotional turmoil of separation. Finally, they can help you overcome anxiety, depression, and guilt that can be overwhelming during the initial phase of coping with divorce. Our experience-based retreat programs for couples are designed to deepen and recover intimacy in different stages of their relationship. Finally, we also have opportunities for individual coaching sessions, where you can work on your attachment style and develop a healthier outlook on relationships and life in general. Give us a call today!