Mens Mental Health Retreat

Potential Influences on Men’s Mental Health

• Responsibility. Responsibilities to themselves, family, community, and their employer drain time and energy reserves. Being a primary provider to children, aging parents, and others place greater demands on them, impacting their inner worlds and personal relationships.

• Loneliness. Men want to be chosen and connected, but they have few spaces that are safe enough to be fully seen. They also struggle with feeling like they have to prove themselves to be worthy of being chosen, fearing they might not be good enough and then rejected and replaced.

• Masking. Men often rely on things like strength and toughness to mask their pain. Traditional masculine traits may create a barrier from their need to process past trauma or receive gentleness, fearing that they will be seen as weak for desiring nurturing care.

• Anger. Anger is often taught to be the only safe emotion for a man to express and it becomes their default setting. Anger is often a way to conceal more vulnerable emotions like sadness, insecurity, or fear, which could be perceived as burdensome and undesirable.

• Shame. With a pressure to perform and be defined by achievement, they often feel like they fail to meet impossible standards and feel the weight of judgment from this. This often leads to self-sabotage and/or a loss of identity outside of what they do.

• Deep love and emotions. The stereotype might be that men are slow to love, but when they do, they love and attach deeply to their partner. This experience is conflicting to them, as it creates tremendous vulnerability, which they’ve been taught to hide.

• Being human. Men feel like they are meant to be protectors and providers, and are viewed as problems when they aren’t. Without the ability to safely experience the messiness that comes with being human, they struggle to show up authentically.