This post was updated on Apr 16, 2020
Perhaps you’ve been dating for a while, but you’re not sure that you’re really ready for a relationship. After all, you are independent. You are happy on your own. And you don’t need anyone to complete you. But you are starting to think about sharing your future with the person you are dating.
Here’s the good news… creating a successful and healthy relationship doesn’t need to be hard, stressful or tedious. With guidance from an insightful remote relationship coach, you’ll be able to recognize favorable and unfavorable dating signs and start nurturing a lasting and stable relationship with the right person.
How Do You Know If You Are Dating The Right Person?
Only you can tell if the person you’re dating is the right match for you. If you are at peace with your own self, insecurities and all, then finding a partner to create a healthy relationship with shouldn’t be too much of a challenge.
A relationship should be built on trust and mutual respect. If both you and your partner are ready to commit and provide healthy emotional support, you have good chances of maintaining a loving and happy relationship.
Signs You Are Ready For A Healthy Relationship
Here are five dating signals that show you are ready for a healthy relationship:
1) You are your authentic self around your date
In the world of dating, it can be difficult to let your true self shine. It’s natural to have your guard up when you start to get to know new people.
The issue with not being yourself in a relationship is that you may fall into a pattern of trying to please the other person and neglecting yourself. Not to mention, your date will miss out on knowing the real you.
When you feel ready to be your true self in front of your date and, more importantly, treasure your authenticity in all its imperfections, then you know you are ready to have a healthy relationship.
This works both ways. Each person in a healthy relationship needs to be themselves, know who they are and what makes them happy.
If both of you have a healthy sense of self, then you can develop a healthy relationship by bringing your similar qualities as well as your differences to the relationship. This means there won’t be one person dominating over the other.
Both you and your date need to accept one another… faults and all. It’s only when you are authentic and can show your date who you really are, that you will create a deep connection that will build a foundation for your healthy relationship.
2) You honor your boundaries
Boundaries are essential for healthy relationships. Why? It means you won’t be a pushover. You’ll stand up for what is important to you, and you can communicate when you are unhappy. If you have not completed the Relational Circle Boundaries with a PIVOT advocate, it is essential that you do so before you begin dating.
If you are unhappy about something your date did, said or didn’t do, then the healthy way to deal with this is to talk about it. If you don’t say anything, then you may feel resentment or anger. Over time this can build up to become a major issue.
In healthy relationships, growth is very important, so you need to be able to have productive discussions, arguments, and disagreements, without feeling isolated or defensive.
A productive discussion is an opportunity to learn from each other and grow as a couple.
3) You don’t want to change them
One signal that you are ready for a healthy relationship is to accept your date for who they are. This means you don’t want to change them in any way.
If you feel like you want to change them, then this could be a sign that you are not ready for a healthy relationship or that you want to control someone. If this is the case, take time to reflect on what’s important to you, what your values are and what you want in a partner based on the PIVOT module, Dating with a Purpose.
Instead of focusing on flaws in your date, focus on their positive attributes. Look for the positive qualities you admire.
If you feel good with your date, you are patient and real with them, and you treat them the same in public as you do at home, then you’re on the path to growing a healthy relationship.
4) You fit into each other’s life
A good sign that you are ready for a healthy relationship is when you see that person fitting into other parts of your life – not just in the relationship.
Some questions to ask yourself to know if you both fit into each other’s life:
- Do we get along with other people in our lives?
- Do we get along with their friends and family?
- Do we have mutual interests that we enjoy doing together?
- Do we invite each other to attend work and social events?
- Do we feel supported and encouraged to pursue our own goals?
If the answer is yes to any of these, then you may be ready for a relationship.
5) You are willing to grow your intimacy
Physical and emotional chemistry is important for relationships. However, if you are ready to grow the chemistry into something deeper, then this is another signal that you are ready for a healthy relationship.
Many of us, single or in a relationship, run from the risks of true intimacy. It takes courage to want to really connect with someone on a deep level.
Intimacy is created when you are with someone that shares your values; when you are both authentic and not afraid to be vulnerable; when there is mutual respect and when you don’t rely on the other person to “complete you.”
If you have recognized the five signals above, then it shows you are ready to commit and cultivate a healthy relationship that feeds and nurtures you both – a relationship of love.
How Do You Know Someone Is Not Right For You?
Unfortunately, your partner may not be as ready for a healthy relationship as you are. They may still be struggling with relational wounds from their past and may not be ready to commit just yet. Here are some telltale signs that your partner is not the right person for you:
- You don’t feel like your unique self next to them
- You share no common interests
- You haven’t met their family even though you’ve been dating for a while
- They keep talking about their previous relationships
- You don’t feel comfortable being vulnerable around them
- They don’t listen to you when you talk about your interests
These are just some of the signs that may indicate that your partner is not ready for love and a long-term healthy relationship. You both must be able and willing to commit to one another in order for the relationship to work.
Remember, it’s easy to become attracted to people who can “almost” commit. People who treat you really well and then they control or ignore you. Those types of relationships are typically high energy and addictive.
Looking for a relationship coach online? Contact PIVOT!
If you would like more advice on how to build a healthy relationship, then contact PIVOT. We offer valuable insights via relationship coaching sessions for individuals and couples and our intensive relationship-building skills retreats. Contact us today and find happiness and love in your relationships!