This post was updated on Mar 31, 2020
The world of dating has changed so much. Now we have online dating, dating apps, and speed dating; it can be challenging to sift through the modern dating ways to find a fulfilling relationship.
Dating, whether it’s done with modern methods or the old-fashioned approach, is still a great way to get to know someone to see if you’re a good fit together.
What Are The Rules Of Dating?
Read our list of how to negotiate the modern dating methods to find your fulfilling relationship. Here’s how to navigate modern dating etiquette with ease:
1. Spend time healing from past relationships
Make sure you’ve healed from past relationships or unresolved childhood trauma. Before you focus on dating, make sure you have dealt with your emotional issues… otherwise, you bring these issues into the relationship.
Nothing is more damaging than trying to build a relationship when you are feeling broken. Take time out before you jump into dating again, invest in yourself, nurture yourself and grow.
2. Don’t rely on dating profiles
Dating profiles are helpful, but remember, they don’t represent everything about the person.
Dating profiles include the information you choose to reveal about yourself and vice versa. In some cases, the profiles are too generic to differentiate you from someone else.
Use dating profiles to filter the people you want to see, rather than rely on them to “get to know the person.”
After all, you need to meet and talk to the person to see if there can be a potential connection.
3. Be authentic
In the world of modern dating, it can be difficult to be you. It’s natural to have your guard up. However, if you are not yourself, then you will not progress your relationship as your date will miss out on knowing the real you.
The first step to growing a fulfilling relationship is to be your true self and accept your authenticity in all its imperfections. This means you will know who you are and what makes you happy.
Of course, this goes both ways. Both you and your date need to accept one another… faults and all, so that you can build a foundation for your relationship.
4. Don’t wait to make contact after the date(s)
The old rules of the man making the first move or waiting for a set number of days after the date to call you has changed.
In these modern dating times, there are no rules for when or who should make contact after the date.
If you want to say you had a great time, or invite your date out again, then do so. Don’t hold back or play games.
With the various communication modes available, there is no excuse not to make contact. Don’t let them think you are not interested.
Communication is an important pillar of a relationship so you should communicate openly and honestly right from the beginning.
5. Be prepared for your date to be dating (many) others
Now with a vast range of online dating and dating apps, it means that your date is probably dating more than one person at a time. If this is uncomfortable for you, then it’s time to get mentally prepared.
With technology changing the modern dating scene, it has opened the possibility of “connecting”, “liking” and “dating” many people at once.
It can be challenging, especially if you are used to dating only one person at a time. However, many people use this dating method to filter through people and then choose who they want to be exclusive with.
The best way to deal with this is to be prepared… emotionally and mentally. And never feel pressured to “stand out” from others. Remember, you are unique and special.
If you are dating someone that you want to get to know better, then let them know you want to be exclusive.
6. Take things slow
Although it’s widely accepted in these modern dating times that people sleep together on the first date, it’s worth waiting to get to know someone first. Especially if either of you are dating several people at once.
Taking things slower helps to build a real connection first instead of just having a physical connection.
7. Ghosting… don’t do it
No matter whether it is the old dating or modern methods, people are still challenged by confrontation.
This means ghosting (when someone seemingly disappears into thin air without communicating… no texts, no calls, no messages) has become more prevalent.
If you are dating someone and you know it is unlikely to go further, then it is always best to be upfront, honest and tell them you are not interested.
Even though this is a difficult thing to say, at least you are respecting them enough to end the relationship, rather than leave them wondering.
On the other hand, if someone you have been seeing suddenly stops communicating with you, then respect yourself and move on. Set your boundaries and don’t hang on waiting for them.
8. Choose the right person
The key to having a fulfilling relationship comes down to who you select to be your partner.
Selecting the right person can be less challenging if you have a criterion for what you are looking for in a partner.
Think about what is important to you and what you can’t compromise on. This may include:
- Communicate easily
Don’t place all the emphasis on attraction, because if you don’t trust, accept, or respect them, then the relationship will struggle.
Dating Rules And The Modern Dating Scene
In summary, although dating has changed, the critical thing is to be open, be yourself and be ready for a relationship.
We recommend trying these methods in your modern dating approach to see what difference it makes in building a fulfilling relationship.
How PIVOT Can Help
If you would like more advice on healthy dating, then contact PIVOT. We’re here to help. As your dating coach, our PIVOT Advocate will help you reveal and break unconscious patterns you fall into that keep you from having a happy and healthy relationship.
Apart from one-on-one sessions with a PIVOT Advocate, we offer 5-day intensives at our private retreat The Glass House, where our PIVOT coaches will determine your attachment style, pinpointing your unhealthy relationship patterns and choices and instigating behavior change. Contact us to learn more about the PIVOT process.