New Relationships: How To Make Them Work

Starting a new relationship is thrilling and invigorating, making you hopeful for the future and its exciting to get to know this person who has captured your heart. New couples are usually smitten with each other, feeling a rush of adrenaline before every date. How do you keep the spark alive once the novelty wears off?

The reality will inevitably set in and once it does, you’ll want to be ready for the pressures that may be weighing down on your relationship. To make sure that it survives the honeymoon stage, you may consider coaching sessions for yourself to assure you are staying in reality not fantasy before any relationship challenges begin to leave you desperate to find solutions. Also, you can explore the stages new relationships go through and discover how to keep yours strong.

What Are The Stages Of A New Relationship?

Although everyone is different, relationships typically go through these stages as they grow and develop over a lifetime:

• Honeymoon. This is the initial spark that prompts two people to find out more about each other and get together. During this phase, you feel butterflies in your stomach and a surge of excitement every time you’re meeting your partner. The chances are you’re also looking at each other through rose colored glasses. You enjoy this time and appreciate the infusion of joy and connection.
• Come Together.  This is the time when you begin realizing who this new partner is.  How well met and how well matched are you? Do you have wants and needs that can be met in this relationship?  Does your partner?  Do your lifestyles and values align from a whole perspective?  You may find out you’re not right for each other and go your separate ways before fully committing or decide to take the relationship to the next level.
• Settling In.  This is the point where you accept and fully commit to one another. This can look like marriage, a formal commitment, an alignment of two lives coming together. You see a future together, share common goals in life, and are willing to work in unison to achieve them. This phase includes things like; living together, buying a home together, having kids, merging families together, sharing expenses, etc. You are able to continue to grow together and share your journey. This isn’t to say you won’t encounter any difficulties, rather it’s about being able to face them as a strong unit.
• Celebration. These are indeed the golden days.  You have weather life’s storms and experienced a deep level of intimacy over years of being together. It is when your relationship is well seasoned and well lived!  At this point, the relationship is a source of contentment, reality, and deep intimacy.

How To Behave In The Beginning Of A Relationship?

Here are a few things to keep in mind when you’re at the very start of a relationship:

• Show your feelings when appropriate. If you’re backing away for fear of judgment, you cannot expect to be seen and discover if this is a good partnership.
• Don’t try to make a great impression. The trick is to stay true to yourself no matter how much you want this relationship to work out.
• Immerse yourself in their world and include them in your own: Meet each other’s friends and try doing your favorite activities together.
• Be in tune with their cues: Pay close attention to how they behave and react to get to know them better. 
• Keep checking in with yourself: Analyze how the relationship makes you feel and whether you’re being your best self when you’re around the other person.
• Trust your gut feeling: When your intuition is telling you something, stop and listen.
• Enjoy the ride: Savor these first few months of the relationship because they’re thrilling and unforgettable.

How Do I Keep A New Relationship Going?

As your relationship moves forward and enters the coming together stage, there are certain things you can do to keep it up:

• Accept that the reality of relationships is far removed from the rosy image we are fed, or dream of, at a young age. There will inevitably be ups and downs and how you deal with them is what makes or breaks a relationship.
• Think of you and your partner as a unit. Include them when it comes to your future wants and needs. They will appreciate it and you’ll avoid unpleasant surprises down the road.
• Don’t take your partner for granted. As the relationship progresses and you start to settle into it more and more, it’s easy to lose sight of all the things you appreciate in your partner. Don’t let life get in the way of showing your appreciation and affection. 
• Do things together. While this can be pretty tricky, especially when the pressures of life seep in, you need to find time for just the two of you. This will bring back a touch of the honeymoon phase.

How Long To Give A New Relationship To Work?

This is different for every couple, so it’s impossible to say exactly. Generally, the first stage of the relationship may last several months. During this time, you are likely only focusing on the positives. 

The first signs of disillusionment mean that the honeymoon phase is coming to a close and reality is setting in. This is when you’ll have to take a close look at the relationship to decide whether it’s worth it to come together and continue to invest your time and effort. 

Search inside yourself to determine whether you could commit to this person and share your hopes and dreams with them long-term. If you feel dissatisfied, underwhelmed, and simply don’t see a future with your current partner, it is probably time to rethink the relationship. 

Where Can I Learn Relationship Intimacy Coaching Exercises?

Here at PIVOT, you can understand yourself on a deeper level and carry over this understanding into your relationship. By working with our relationship advocates and going over our curriculum, you’ll learn how to pinpoint unhelpful patterns and move in the direction of healthier relationships. 

We can help you work through your feelings of shame, teach you how to prevent losing yourself when you’re with someone, and let you know how to overcome relationship complacency. If you’re struggling with unrequited feelings or find yourself in a non-reciprocal relationship, you can find out how to overcome your circumstances and pivot toward a happier existence. You can sign up for our customized individual coaching sessions to discover what you need and want from relationships and get a step closer to getting it. Or, join our 5-day relational retreats where your healthiest self can take shape. Reach out to us today!