People date for different reasons. Some want to have fun and just get out of the house. But for those who are looking for a partnership, are you dating with a purpose?
Dating with a purpose is reserved for people who are making a concerted effort to find out if there is enough compatibility to sustain a healthy relationship which includes romantic love, excitement, getting along and a future together. In other words, dating with a purpose is like interviewing someone for the most important role in his or her life as your partner.
Putting together a solid dating plan is not easy. It takes effort, patience, self-discipline and the wisdom of others who have gone through this process and been successful.
Since dating with a purpose is one of the most important things you will do in life, We have created a list of things one should look for in a relationship when dating for a purpose…
- Honesty that engenders trust.
- Readiness for a relationship (both partners).
- The willingness to negotiate or compromise.
- Self-awareness—this means both partners knowing who they are and what they want.
- Self-esteem—this means both partners feeling for the most part, “good” about who they are.
- Communication skills:
- Asking for what you want, but not being addicted to getting it.
- Fighting fair. (This means expressing your opinion without attacking the other person).
- Reporting your feelings.
- Saying what you mean (not beating around the bush).
- Listening – let them have their voice.
- Childhood wounds will probably be triggered and sensitivity strategies must be created.
- Rituals from your family of origin must be re-negotiated and new rituals created as a
- And, finally, that the wounded inner child and adolescent must be kept in check. (In other words, love your inner child, but don’t give him or her the keys to the car).
If you have no idea what this means or would like to learn more, get in touch with a coach at PIVOT and complete the Survival Patterns before you continue to date!
- Saying something once and then letting it go.
- It also means being a role model instead of nagging someone to change.